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So, last time we met, it was like
this, Mark and Dave had decided to join forces for complete World Domination.
(We're talking Pinky and the Brain here folks). Some people may not fully understand
the chaotic and tumultuous past the FUBAR Megapire has undergone over the past 10 years,
so here's a quick recap of that before we explain the signifcance of the above photo and
it's impact on the FUBAR'S...
Dave
the "Wonder Kid" (now "Cyber-Kid") forms the FUBAR Softball Dictatorship with nothing more than
a few dedicated individuals and a dream in 1989. He then decides to acquire
inter-team funding and builds the soon to be softball dynasty of the early nineties and
acquires copyrights to the FUBAR News Corporation and FUBAR Media Corp. names. After
growing the team to a winning establishment and success in various other FUBAR
ventures, Dave "Wonder Kid" thwarts a coup attempt by Ron
"Benedict Arnold" Doles with the assistance of Chris "Cy Young" Roth,
Kevin "No I don't wear lifts" Russo and Ed "Stand By Me" Gordon.
After the stress and shock of the coup attempt, Gordon Enterprises agrees to take command
of the FUBAR Softball Organization as CEO/Founder Dave "I am richer than Trump"
decides to step down to dedicate more time to FUBAR News Corporation and FUBAR
Corp. Worldwide Business Ventures. Gordon Enterprises folds after a short term and
under supervision of FUBAR Upper Management releases command of the Softball Dynasty to
Kevin "Wild Man" Russo (nicknamed for his famed Fu-Bar-B-Que shenanigans and
let's not forget the drunken orgy's)
Russo Inc. then releases command temporarily
back to original CEO/Founder Dave "The boss man" who recruits a team of
"ringers" for Scott "The Horrible" Hager to command after his hiatus
overseas for FUBAR Worldwide Business Ventures. Finally Hager Co. is aggressively
bought out by Avellino Inc. who does the first thing that comes to mind - sells the FUBAR
name for an un-godly sum of money! That put us up to three years ago. 16
months ago Dave "I've been hit" is brutally gunned down by what is believed to be
a lone gun-man (Jesse "Psycho" Rhodes) employed by none other than Mark
"The Shark" Avellino. Many say this was a result of a year of constant badgering
and harassment by Dave "I'm a bleeder" against Avellino for his losing the
FUBAR trademark (not to mention something about a "B" in a flight
course years earlier.) 9 months ago, Avellino Inc. and Fubar Corp. put aside differences
and sit down to discuss the future of the FUBAR name and of course 3 months ago, is
finalized with the merger of Avellino Inc. and The FUBAR News Corporation. This
leaves us at present day Metropolis and the final verdict is in boys and girls...
The
FUBAR'S are back...Mark "The Shark" Avellino having come to grips with his major
error in judgment and having to face the wedgy machine has re-acquired the FUBAR name!
After heated negotiation and research, Avellino found the loophole required to
re-acquire the name most cherished in all of softball. So, what's with the
picture above right? Well here's how it goes. Dave and Mark were
approached by Chris "Computer Guy" Roth, who after hearing about the
re-acquisition of The FUBAR'S by the FUBAR News Corporation, talks about a joint Venture
between FUBAR-AVELLINO and his small company "ROTH.COM Business Solutions" and
pitches the idea for FUBAR-CON 2000. "Come on baby, it'll be the greatest thing since
sliced bread. This will BE the new millenium" So Dave and
Mark go
"throw the kid a bone huh?" and throw down the venture capital (cause we got
that kind of cash) and end up hanging out at Jungle Jim's in Church Street for FUBAR-CON
2000 with just Roth who keeps saying "didn't I tell you this would rock!?" Mark
"I'm a little skeptical at this point" Avellino goes, "Uh, Roth, we are the
only people here, did you even send out invitations you freak!?" Roth then says
to the boys, "Dude, trust me if you build it they will come..." At this
point Dave was reported to have "totally gone bonkers" "What the hell are
you talking about you fruity nut-bag? I'm gonna kick your f***ing @$$ you total wack
job." Dave then had to be "removed" from the scene by
Mark and is
now just coming to grips with the whole thing. Press agents for the
Cyber-Kid made this
statement, "Dave is completely and utterly sorry for his actions although he
does not at all in any way feel he needs to apologize in reference to Chris being a quote
"total wack job" end quote. He further would like to inform the press that
the incidents that transpired will in no way have an impact on the current merger dealing
between Avellino Inc. and FUBAR News Corp. and against any future ventures with
"ROTH.COM Business Solutions"
So
there you have the story of the infamous and first annual FUBAR-CON. Maybe next year
we can actually have guests? Well that's all the news that's fit to print, enjoy the
rest of yor trip through CYBER SPACE on this your second CD-ROM and until next quarter, we
will be seeing you. Once again, this has been your always faithful reporter bringing
nothing but the truth, the whole truth and a few embellishments along the way...
Dave "Cyber Kid" Moeder
reporting a few days earlier at FUBAR News Co. Studios in Dallas, Texas... |
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