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FUBARHQ

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FUBAR NEWS

 

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NEWS

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02/09/2017

FUBARHQ BACK UP AND RUNNING!

 

The Cyber Kid #23 shakes the dust off the glove and shows 'em what a 44yr old (former FUBAR Champion) can really do!

 

Hello FUBARians!,

       Holy Cow – It's been over one year since we last updated you with all the FUBAR news that's fit to print.  Now, this not to say the FUBARHQ has been idle – Kids photos, Aviation Photos and those pesky Cheeky Monkey Pages have been updated consistently not to mention, planning TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION is a labor-intensive endeavor, so we only have time for the important stuff! 

       So, while we continued to plan to take over the World and run amuck last year with 26th Year Anniversary FUBAR shenanigans, the News just had to wait.  Wish we had a better reason for our (unorthodox) delay but it wasn't like we EVER received ONE single email in the past 15 months asking us when we were going to update the News!  No -“Are you guys OK?”; “IS this site still up and running?”; “Where's Dave?”; “What the heck are you doing with our FUBAR dues money?”  - None of that EVER came to our Inbox!?... Just sayin'!?...  So, like our mission statement – remember what you paid for this?)

 

       So, just what have the FUBARs have we been doing?  Well, as we always say, go grab a tasty BevERage (we prefer Founders Breakfast Stout this time of year), grab a seat and get into it!  This one's gonna take some time.  If you ever saw the movie Interstellar, this edition will be just like that!  You'll spend about an hour on here but when you finally log-off, you'll realize your kids have grown and everyone is old!      

       When we left you last October (2015 that is!) our main story concerned the FUBAR CEO and Founder Dave “The Cyber Kid” and their mysterious 3 members of the “secret” meeting that took place in a cabin in the woods!  The term TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION came up during our investigation numerous times and we even started to “tail” the five members to see if they would meet again.  We're confident to report that while the “FUBAR Five” as they are being dubbed did not meet again in the year of 2016, FUBAR COO Mark “The Armor-Dildo” and Dave “Cyber Punk” did meet several times!

       There first meeting was at a local eatery in Orlando (Yes.  Hooters!) where the two were observed with “Certified Trainer” Nicole and a Stuffed Monkey! - Which turned out to be none other than “Doctor” - a certified stunt double of the infamous SwingerMonkey.com star Cheeky Monkey!  Flung Poo and Hot Wings aside, our reporter could not get a good sense as to what the nefarious duo were up to other than playing with their monkey!?...

...BUT THEN - Just a mere week later however, the two were again at the exact same Hooters w/ the same waitress!?...  This time, they enjoyed some food and then moved to an establishment called – The Cloak & Blaster.

 

Cyber Kid, Nicole & Avo

   

           Dubbed a “Gamer Pub” (but has often been referred to as - "The place that brings out your Inner Megalomaniac”!?) the duo were spotted engaging in some sort of home-made strategy game.  (After a $20 tip, the bartender was willing to divulge that he thought he heard The Cyber Kid call it – The Sun Never Sets!? (More on this "game" and developing segment later!) - Interesting name with all the talk about TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION don't ya think?!)  Anyway, the two shared a lovely tower of onion rings (named “Sauron's Tower”) and some other cleverly named but otherwise pedestrian tasting cuisine – the game was apparently considered a draw and then the two left!

 

Avo, Nicole & CK - Hoots Again?

Avo makes a move?!

"Just a game, nothing more" is their story?

       

       The two were then spotted together, yet again, when they met up just a week before the Circus came to town in Cleveland, OH for the Republican National Convention.  As well as meeting downtown Cleveland a week prior to the convention, the nefarious pair also met the night of the convention downtown Cleveland.  Once again, the FUBAR News wire was all abuzz with renewed talks of TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION as the two most powerful men in the FUBAR Organization were in the same city as some of (and unknown but suspected at the time) the most powerful people in the world – the least of which is now the President of the United States! 

       FUBAR Press Reporters cannot confirm whether or not the two from FUBAR Upper Echelon actually had council with The Trumpster, but based on the election results... well, suffice to say – that “Russian hacking story” you keep hearing about – you can call that herring red if you ask us?  We think the Cyber Kid and Avocado might have a lot more juicy intel on hwat went down this past November?! - The day after the RNC, the two FUBAR Officials (yes, Avo and Cyber Kid), using FUBAR dues money we presume, went about there "originally scheduled activities" with a fun-filled day riding extreme roller-coasters at Cedar Point in Sandusky, OH!

We're here for the rollercoasters!

 

   

       That finally brings us to October, when Mark Avocado, took an unconventional second trip away from his HQ "Numenor Kennels" in central FL to visit the FUBARHQ in central TX!  Press were not invited to the exclusive event and despite best efforts, including the use of drones - paparazzi were snubbed!  One party attendee, was bribed for a $5 Starbucks card and whatever change we had in our pocket for the following pictures!  One in which it seems as though Mark "Avo" may in fact be turning into a zombie!?...

       Again, we have no confirmation of what the two discussed during the 48 hour stay (except perhaps TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION – "TWD" from now on!? - Frankly it's getting too tedious to type!) but we can confirm that Mark arrived with two canines and left w/ one!?  More on this developing story later as well...

 

AVO sends one back across the table!

Uncle Mark and some random small humans?

     

         So, November 2016 brought us another sighting of the FUBAR duo when the Cyber Kid and entourage enroute to a planned campaign stop at Hogwarts School of Wizardry, spent a day at Mark's AvocadoHQ!? 

       Despite being the Thanksgiving holiday AND having the family in tow, we believe here at the FUBAR News that this was all just an elaborate ruse to look like a "holiday get-together" when in fact it was yet another meeting to discuss TWD!?  All of this is of course speculative (But you can put money on it!?) but considering there were dead birds being dressed and cooked in what can only be described as some sort of ritualistic ceremony we doubt that the two were just "socializing?!"

       We will of course continue to bring you the developments on this story as they hit our desk!  (Or in another 15 months?  Whichever comes first!?)

Cyber Kid and Avo in Numenor!

 

   

       Now, earlier in our report, we broke the news about Mark Avocado and Dave "The Cyber Kid" meeting in secret  (OK!? - Somewhat in secret... OK, OK!? - Not really in secret at all) to "play" a game that was titled "The Sun Never Sets!"  The game that has been officially called "Just a Game!" by the Cyber Kid and the FUBAR Press Secretary however seems to keep cropping up? 

       So, while the FUBAR COO Mark and FUBAR Founder/CEO The Cyber Kid were playing the "game" back in March 2016, the "game" was again spotted in Atlanta, GA being played by a yet as identified individual in August of 2016!?  When asked about it, the unidentified (and unwilling to divulge his personal information) person said that they had "found it" and were just "messing around with it?!"  The plot however, thickens when we discovered that FUBAR Founder/ CEO Dave was not only traveling BUT was, in fact, ALSO in Atlanta during the same timeframe!  While almost identical, the games did have very "slight" differences, we will of course let you decide (via photographic evidence below) for yourself whether or not A: It's the same game? and B: Whether or not the Cyber Kid and his "unidentified" minions are planning TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION!?  While you try not to overload your inferior little minds - just be assured that we here at the FNC are very much on top of this developing story!?...

 

The Sun Never Sets - March version The Sun Never Sets - August version Unidentified "Geek" playing August version
   

$5 Starbucks card for information about this guy!

     

       In other news, the Cyber Kid has been busy with his Campaign Stops and was able to make appearances in the following cities throughout 2016 -

New York, NY – Hooters #200 (Madison Square Garden); Orlando, FL w/ Mark - The Cloak & Blaster; Ft. Lauderdale, FL; Albany, NY; Washington, DC; ; St. Louis, MO; Boise, IO; Miami, FL - Carly Jo Jackson & David Blaine; Detroit, MI – Tigers Game; Cleveland, OH – RNC; Sandusky, OH - Cedar Point – RollercoastersAtlanta, GA – TSNS w/ Geoff;  Orlando, FL – Hogswarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Hogsmeade Village & Diagon Alley, visits w/ Thomas B & Andrea C; Oklahoma City, OK - Engine Failure; and finally Tampa, FL.  Enjoy the following pictures of some of the Cyber Kid's adventures -

 

Hooters #200 Cloak & Blaster Times Square Cleveland, OH - RNC Protests
Carly Jo Jackson Hogwarts School David Blaine RIP - Right JT8D (aka "Whitney")
       

 

 

So, now that’s done, enjoy these brand spanking new “VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE WINGS!” and “VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE COMICS!” and the newest campaign poster - "VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE LUNCH!"
 
Cyber Kid & Joanie Cyber Kid & Nicole Cyber Kid & Ireland Cyber Kid & Bennet Cyber Kid & Ashley
 
  Well, that's it!  DON'T FORGET - The COMPLETE FUBARchives 2011 edition is still FREE! - Unlocking the FUBAR vaults, every FUBAR document in FUBARHQ and the FUBAR Press Corp. has been painstakingly recreated & scanned.  Unlike the FUBARchives newsletter anthology sent to select FUBAR's back in 2000 this collection contains ALL of those newsletters as well as NEVER BEFORE SEEN stats, rosters, receipts and photos!  Effectively - EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF PAPER we have pertaining to the FUBAR's!  DON'T FORGET - IT'S ENTIRELY FREE!!!  By clicking the link provided, you may begin to download any section or the entire FUBARchive!  So please - Enjoy!"

FUBARchives

Also be sure to check out all the FUBAR Shenanigans on FUBARHQ Vimeo!

FUBARHQ ON VIMEO!

FIND ALL Of YOUR FUBAR VIDEO CONTENT AT -

www.VIMEO.com/FUBARHQ

Also, be sure to come back next quarter when we explain this...

 

Zombie Mark & Jess

   

and this?!...

 

Ever "Furtle"?

   

And finally this...

 

Explore strange new worlds...

   

MINDFUL WEB CONTENT REMINDER

Be sure to visit the newest in the FUBAR Publishing News, the FUBAR Entertainment Group repertoire - CHEEKY MONKEY's photo blog/online journal.  UPDATED and sorted by year, the monkey has 10 albums and 2000+ captioned photos (Not to Mention the UN-CUT album - if you can find it!?  featuring OVER 1100+ pics of the monkey in the raw!?); The monkey is swingin'?...

www.SWINGERMONKEY.com

"He Gets Around..."

And finally, here's yet another installment of WTF featuring...

     

 

ONE MORE VARIANTS REMINDER

       The Cyber Kid was asked to provide the D-Mobile III (aka "The Beast") for a couple episodes of the The Variants.  Always willing to lend a hand, the Cyber Kid took the reigns as vehicle stunt coordinator for the driving scenes as well as featured extra "Officer Handlebar" in the Season 2, Episode 1 premiere of The Variants! (Links are below)!  So, if you haven't seen it yet, be sure to watch Season's 1-3 on YouTube.com.

       The Variants follows the zany adventures of comic shop proprietor, Richard and his loyal band of store employees, Barry, Kelli, Joe and the elusive Vlad as the quartet (most of the time) find themselves in the most precarious of situations.  For more information about the show or to watch the episode click any of the respective links below -

www.TheVariants.com

Season 2 Episode 1

(My Scene starts at 6:40)

Season 3 Episode 7

(FUBAR CEO Dave's '77 Impala ("The BEAST") is featured prominently throughout the episode!)

Well gang, until next time, this has been your always loyal reporter  - Now go grab another BEvERage and remember you cannot un-see what you just saw?! - Enough FUBAR for ya?!...

 

Dave "Cyber Kid" - CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989

 

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