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DARTH M

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CHEEKY

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FUBARHQ GOES AQUATIC!

The Cyber Kid #23 gives A.J. "The Admiral" Berlotti #26 the keys to the FUBAR Navy!

Hello FUBARians!,

       Wow!  The last FNC update was 1st Quarter 2017 and here we are in the 4th Quarter of 2018!  Once again, the FUBAR News Corporation has left you wondering 1. What the #3(( is going on over there and 2. What the #3(( are they doing with our dues money? 

       Well folks, we're here yet again in the Zero Hour to bring you all the goings on in your favorite guerilla News Agency!  (Now, that stated, this reporter would like to point out that yet again, despite the hiatus in updates to the FNC, we NEVER received ONE single email, phone call, text message, tweet, Facebook "poke" - Nada, Nothing, Zip, Zilch, Donut!  So, the "incentive" is a bit lacking and you get what you get!)

       BUt, we won't disappoint - there's been lots going on in the FUBAR's 28th Year, so go grab a meaty BEvERage (This stout season we recommend Founder's Bourbon Barrel Aged Backwood's Bastard) or two and sit down, buckle up, set your phones to "airplane mode" and get ready for the Adventure!... 

       When we last left our heroes, the FUBAR's were just hitting Q1 2017 having come off a Total World Domination (TWD) trip disguised as a "Vacation" with the family as The Cyber Kid and FUBAR CEO/Founder Dave met up with FUBAR COO Mark "Avo" Armadillo!?...

       Well, by the end of Q1 2017, the Cyber Kid was, yet again, back in Central, FL and spotted at various tourist sights!  Again, disguised as a "vacation", the FUBAR CEO/Founder was suspiciously accompanied by his FUBAR Heirs and was noticed entering and exiting the Armadillo Ranch Compound Multiple times!  Many believe it was yet another 'collective' in order to continue the course for TWD!  FNC paparazzi were able to capture the photo to the right in which rumors began to surface that the the key to the FUBAR TWD plan may in fact be ...

MAGIC!

       That's right folks!  Official sources report that while many, many children are annually "accepted" into the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry, the entire endeavor is just a cover for the kids who are REALLY "accepted" and trained at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!  As the FUBAR Heirs, Jess and Alex, had been accepted into Gryffindor and Ravenclaw Houses back in 2016 - This photo may indicate that the FUBARs have... well... Real Wizards in their arsenal!?  (Yikes!)

Jess (Ravenclaw) M "Wins" this round? (Let the Wizard Win!)

       Once the FNC rolled into Q2 2017, it's was back to FHQ in Central, TX and the FUBAR CEO was spotted with the Heirs at various events and outings.  Although not "official" FUBAR events, many of them "could" be (with some reach) be interpreted as more ways in which the FUBAR CEO/Founder is preparing for the coming revolution?... 

       The Cyber Kid was spotted at Medieval Times (observing swordplay) as well as the Medieval Renaissance Faire (perhaps perfecting his swordplay?)  Additionally, the Cyber Kid made way to the TX capitol where he met House Reps (perhaps to discuss his future Presidential Run?) 

       Finally, the Cyber Kid kicked-off his summer Dungeons & Dragons campaign with mini-painting sessions (perhaps to continue to hone his tactical battlefield strategies?)

       "It was a quiet quarter here at FNC" the CEO said but come on folks... we know what REALLY going on?

Sir William ... Wins?

"It's just a game"  The Cyber Kid says... ("Sure it is" we say?)

       Rolling into Q3 2017, the FNC was initially quiet before the FUBAR Robotics Division (FRD) ramped back up for the end of their 2016/2017 "Animal Allies" Regional Season.  Following their Grand Champion Award in Q4 2016.  This year, the young FUBAR apprentices (named Axis of Eagles) were hard at work on their robot (JARVIS Mark-II) for their Regional Championship Competition of which they scored 234 pts and won First Place (1/59) in the Robot Game!  FUBAR Champs B!+c#3$!)

       A reporter close to the FUBAR camp has done extensive investigative journalism into this FUBAR Robotics Division and can confirm - While it's true this robot was in fact designed and built under the "guise" of an adolescent robot STEM competition, our expert engineers who have been able to look at the technical schematics say this robot "Is definitely NOT for kids!"  a military contractor went on to say; "This JARVIS MK-II "Lego" robot could level a city block!  It's just that awesome!..."

     We'll, of course, keep you posted on further developments...

JARVIS Mark-II WINS IT ALL!

Alex w/ JARVIS MK-II & Jacque

       Additionally in Q3 2017, the FUBAR Heirs were taken across the pond to jolly-ole England to undergo some training camps, more than likely in an effort to build their skill-set for the FUBAR TWD event...

       Alex was sent through aggressive and professional off-road driving.  Having just turned 14, Alex was given the all clear and soloed the FUBAR A.W.E. (All-Weather / Environment) Mini-Striker (F-AWE) which is a smaller version of the FUBAR A.W.E. Striker.

       Jessica on the other "hand" underwent a different sort of training as she was immersed in all things Owl.  Another tip that the FUBAR Heirs are in fact ... Wizard & Witch!

Alex puts the FUBAR A.W.E. Mini-Striker through it's paces...

Jess learns to OWL post...

       Finally, back in Central, TX, the FUBAR CEO/Founder Dave and his two Heirs (Alex & Jess) took a last-minute unscheduled trip to San Antonio, TX to learn the art of Black-Powder Riflery.  When asked about it by FNC media, The Cyber Kid simply said; "You should know how to use all weapons!  You never know what you'll have access to when the zombies come?"  So you know what that means folks -

       Zombies!

       That's right folks, straight from the CEO's mouth, zombies ARE coming!  We don't actually know when, nor have there been ANY confirmed sightings but as the FUBAR CEO/Founder says - you never know when the zombies will come but apparently, they ARE coming... eventually!?

A black-powder expert demonstrates bad-@$$ery*

*With his eye's closed

       Once again the FUBAR Press Corp was on hand to congratulate the team (actually, they were there to try and sneak photos of the robot for analysis from their engineering experts to try and ascertain how much of an "actual threat" the robot poses to the general public!?...

       "It's quite an impressive piece of machinery.  One might say it's an engineering marvel but, we're not saying that...  just yet anyway!"  One of the FUBAR Robot Analysts was quoted as saying after looking over the stolen photos!

       So, that rolls the FUBAR News Corp into Q4 2017!  (were getting there!) 

       Q4 2017 came in like the first drop of a Max-Coaster!  The FUBAR Heirs were working diligently on strategy gaming simulations when the DCC Fan Days rolled into town...  Eager to show off his experience in robot-building, Alex "Cyber Monkey" Mater debuted his actual IRON-MAN helmet and gauntlet system!  (Known as the FUBAR War Machine MK-1)  To much fanfare, the Young FUBAR Heir was the talk of the town with his technological wonder!

       Additionally, Q4 would net a trip to the Texas Motor Speedway so Alex "Cyber Monkey" Mater could put his "professional and aggressive" driving skills to the test as he ran a handful of time-trials for NASCAR!  The FUBAR Press Corp was on hand for the event and Alex posted some impressive lap times! - "I haven't seen a driver post times like that on their first time out since a young Dick Petty came by my track!" said no one that afternoon as a totally made-up quote by a desperate FUBAR reporter because it sounds cool!

       Finally Q4 2017 ended with FUBAR CEO/Founder Dave "The Cyber Kid" along with FUBAR Heir Alex "Cyber Monkey" took a trip to Mecca!  The boys went to Pittsburgh, PA to watch the greatest football franchise of all time, The Pittsburgh Steelers, beat up on the Cleveland Browns (helping them complete their 0-16 season.)  The trip was a resounding success and once the Steelers Nation heard the FUBAR News Corp was in their house, the red-carpet was opened up.  The Steelers had a solid win in a blisteringly cold day but Alex "Cyber Monkey" and FUBAR CEO were able to get away from the cold periodically in the Steelers club.  Alex was able to meet Charlie Batch as well who couldn't wait to get a photo op with the FUBAR Heir! "Oh man, it was electrifying meeting a young man of such status!"  Batch never said at any point during their trip.

- INTERMISSION -

       So, FINALLY, we make it to Q1 2018 and we are well on our way to catching you up on all things FUBAR! ...

       Q1 2018 kept the ball movin' (literally) as the FUBAR CEO/Founder and Heirs again made their way to AvocadoHQ for some fun in the sun!  Mark "The Godfather" Armadillo was able to break out the trusty (or was it crusty?) old glove for some skills work with the two young FUBAR "phenoms" as well as make their way down for some Daytona Beach Bike Week 2018 Action!   (Oh yeah and they rode some SWEET coasters at Busch Gardens!)

       Also, the Cyber Kid took another opportunity, during this Quarter 2, to sharpen his strategy skills (probably for the TWD endeavor) with his "gaming" group?...

       There was a quant little Comic Show in Central Texas that the FUBAR CEO/Founder and Heir Alex attended.  The event was a big hit once the Cyber Kid showed up and there was much fanfare to meet and greet with the Young FUBAR Alex.  The CEO Dave "The Cyber Kid" was able to procure an original Bernie Wrightson (The guy who created Swamp Thing) piece of art from his amazing wife Liz (she IS an amazing person) and it will be cherished along with many of the FUBAR Leader's most valued possessions (FUBAR Championship trophies, FUBAR Championship T-Shirts, FUBAR signed softballs, FUBAR Action-Figures, Etc.)

       Additionally, the FUBAR Heirs attended a "Special" Harry Potter LEGO "Building" event and we have EXCLUSIVE photos of the FUBAR Heirs that have apparently mastered (at least) the spell required to add REAL smoke to LEGO trains!  "OH MY F***ING GOD!  LOOK AT THE PICTURES!  AND AFTER THAT, YOU PEOPLE STILL DON'T BELIEVE THERE'S "REAL" MAGIC!"  Jeff "E" Engel was (maybe) quoted as yelling at a FUBAR Press Corp reporter who asked him why they should believe in magic!

       It always seems to be ironic that these two continue to get together, discuss what many eye-witnesses report as "questionable" topics?...  With The FUBAR CEO/Founder's VERY public intention to run for President along with the numerous news reports of - FUBAR Heirs, Magic Schools, Strategy "Games", Free Wings, Free Comics, Free Bait, Robots, Strategy Games, Etc. among other various red-herrings to distract our intelligent readers - Dude!  We know better.

       We know there is much more behind the metaphorical curtain.  Yes, we know about the plan for Total World Domination and of course the addition of a FUBAR Navy, along with a newly minted Admiral (who, by the way, was once believed to be a dim-witted humanoid neanderthal), one cannot be more convinced than now that the FUBAR's are engaging in none other than what can be labeled as "Political Tomfoolery?"

       "I'd keep an eye on the little one!"  Chris "Cy Young" Roth had to say in a recent interview.  "He's the real threat?" he added.

Avo & the Cyber Kid at Hoots...

Campaign Stops for the SMART 2018 trip included - Zion Canyon / Las Vegas, NV / Grand Canyon / San Diego, CA / Anaheim, CA / Los Angeles, CA / Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry (LA Campus) / San Francisco, CA / Muir Woods /  Lake Tahoe / Reno, NV / Wendover, UT / Salt Lake City, UT...

      FUBAR CEO/Founder Dave "The Cyber Kid" Mater was observed on numerous boats over the Q3 2018 season and then it became an official concern when he called for a press conference where he announced that A.J. "The Sighting" Berlotti would be announced as "The Admiral" of the newly formed FUBAR Naval Division (FND). 

       "I'm honored to be appointed as the new FUBAR Navy Admiral.  I just hope I can rise to the challenge and give the FUBARS the Navy support they deserve?  I would just like to say that the "A" in A.J. now satnds for Admiral B!+c#3$!"  A.J. (may have) said in an interview with a fictitious FUBAR reporter?...

That's not "Peace"?  That means I'm #2 Mark!?...

DON'T FORGET!  The COMPLETE FUBARchives 2011 edition is still FREE! - Unlocking the FUBAR vaults, every FUBAR document in FUBARHQ and the FUBAR Press Corp. has been painstakingly recreated & scanned.  Unlike the FUBARchives newsletter anthology sent to select FUBAR's back in 2000 this collection contains ALL of those newsletters as well as NEVER BEFORE SEEN stats, rosters, receipts and photos!  Effectively - EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF PAPER we have pertaining to the FUBAR's!  DON'T FORGET - IT'S ENTIRELY FREE!!!  By clicking the link provided, you may begin to download any section or the entire FUBARchive!  So please - Enjoy!"

FUBARchives

Also be sure to check out all the FUBAR Shenanigans on FUBARHQ Vimeo!

FUBARHQ ON VIMEO!

FIND ALL Of YOUR FUBAR VIDEO CONTENT AT -

www.VIMEO.com/FUBARHQ

MINDFUL WEB CONTENT REMINDER

Be sure to visit the newest in the FUBAR Publishing News, the FUBAR Entertainment Group repertoire - CHEEKY MONKEY's photo blog/online journal.  UPDATED and sorted by year, the monkey has 10 albums and 2000+ captioned photos (Not to Mention the UN-CUT album - if you can find it!?  featuring OVER 1100+ pics of the monkey in the raw!?); The monkey is swingin'?...

www.SWINGERMONKEY.com

"He Gets Around..."

And finally, here's yet another installment of WTF featuring - Vintage DELTA/NORTHWEST Ads...

ONE MORE VARIANTS REMINDER

       The Cyber Kid was asked to provide the D-Mobile III (aka "The Beast") for a couple episodes of the The Variants.  Always willing to lend a hand, the Cyber Kid took the reigns as vehicle stunt coordinator for the driving scenes as well as featured extra "Officer Handlebar" in the Season 2, Episode 1 premiere of The Variants! (Links are below)!  So, if you haven't seen it yet, be sure to watch Season's 1-3 on YouTube.com.

       The Variants follows the zany adventures of comic shop proprietor, Richard and his loyal band of store employees, Barry, Kelli, Joe and the elusive Vlad as the quartet (most of the time) find themselves in the most precarious of situations.  For more information about the show or to watch the episode click any of the respective links below -

www.TheVariants.com

Season 2 Episode 1

(My Scene starts at 6:40)

Season 3 Episode 7

(FUBAR CEO Dave's '77 Impala ("The BEAST") is featured prominently throughout the episode!)

Well gang, until next time, this has been your always loyal reporter  - Now go grab another BEvERage and remember you cannot un-see what you just saw?! - Enough FUBAR for ya?!...

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