Hope all is well this 1st quarter of 2012 –
or as many believe, the year of the apocalypse!?... Guess we have 11 months
to get our house in order? Not the FUBARs of course, we’ve been square
since 1992! Time capsule’s tucked neatly away in Central Texas and if the
ball starts to spin off the axis, the Cyber Kid’s Brain will be
cryogenically stored for when the aliens come to investigate what the heck
All seriousness aside, there have of course been major
events in the FUBAR timeline during the end of 2011! We have the Cyber Kid
and Mark Armadillo’s “not so secret” meeting of the FUBAR Upper Management,
a visit with a Six Foot Rat AND of course the major story that had the
paparazzi buzzing at the end of 2011 - Chris “Cy Young” Roth tied the knot!
(Yes! Someone dared to say “Yes” to the guy!?… Finally!?... :o) We have
all this and more. So buckle up, please keep your hands and feet in the
vehicle at all times and first and foremost – Enjoy the ride – this is the
FUBAR News 2012!...
So, back in early September, the Cyber Kid made (one of many) visits
to the wonderful (and cold) city of Minneapolis. Typicaly, the
Cyber Kid doesn't "stay" in "Minne" long but this was that rare
occasion where an overnight was called for. Turns out that the
Cyber Kid reached out the "Toxic Twins" and while Steve "Handjob"
was unable to take a meeting with the Kid (What?! Really?!
Wow, look at what 10 years does to a friendship?!) Brian "I'm
Such a" Messer was available to partake.
(jackets) and our "game faces" (which looked more like a grimace
from Brian) on, the boys took in all the sites and sounds Minne had
to offer?! (Which meant we went to Hooters and a local joint
called Jersey's; which has the current Red Bull Flugtag Record!)
smokes! We have all this culture and stuff like that here and
all the Kid wants to do is go to the Mall of America and Hooters!
What a loser!?" Brian was reported as muttering under
his breath when asked by paparazzi how the Fubar Reunion went.
Needless to say, Brian was removed (promptly) from the FUBAR
Christmas Card and Endowment fund list!... Watch for more on
this continuing story...
The Cyber Kid & Brian
with a set-back for the FUBAR organization as the FUBAR
Matriarch (aka "The Emperor") suffered a major health set-back!
Many trips from FUBARHQ in Central Texas to the Florida Gulf Coast
ensued and rolling into November, the FUBAR Upper Management
managed to squeeze a trip
to Central Florida to
witness the nuptials of Chris “Cy Young” Roth...
So, meeting up with
the FUBAR dynamic duo
of Kevin and Denise, the Cyber Kid and
company had a good time. Of course the paparazzi were out in
full force (there were three of them there!?)
"Chris looks happy?!" the Cyber Kid was quoted as saying during the
ground-breaking event. "He looks scared? A bit stiff,
wooden if you ask me?" Kevin "Wild Thing" was overheard
muttering to the bartender after his fifth Tom Collins
and then added, "No wait!?... That was ME at MY
wedding!?... Yeah, I guess he looks fine... for a guy! Not
that that's my thing or anything?!... Good grief I think I
need another drink!"
looks drunk?!" was all Denise had to say... "No darling,
that's you're husband" someone was overheard shouting at the former
FUBAR Star First-Baseman. "Go **** yourself!" Denise
shouted and then it was ON boys and girls!... "I've never seen
anything like it?!" One guest was quoted as saying adding; "It was
complete chaos and mayhem and then to top it off... Elvis' showed up
and that's when we knew we had to get the **** outta there!"
Several guests and two Elvis were fortunate to leave with minor
injuries... the guest that reportedly started the incident by
shouting at Denise was last seen running (shirtless) from the
The Cyber Kid and Wild Thing!
Wild Thing, Denise "The Wall"
In addition to the Roth Event of 4th Quarter 2011, the Cyber Kid
managed to make his way over to see Mr. Mark "Avocado!" for
some major BEvERage consumption and gaming* (* by "gaming" we
mean a total nerdy, geek-out strategy board game dork-fest!?)
Bringing along a suitcase (Yes boys and girls a suitcase) FULL of
nothing more than Strategy Board Games, the Cyber Kid and Avo
conducted a "serious" gaming session. Reporters were on hand
to record the event and at one point, the stakes were so high, the
Cyber Kid was quoted as "putting up the FUBAR empire" as collateral
on a bet!
"It was never gonna happen!" The Cyber Kid was quoted as
saying later, adding; "I mean come on, it would NEVER hold up in
court or anything, I was just trying to show the guy I meant
business!... Anyway, I didn't lose on that round, so who cares
anyway - moot point!?"
"I had the little guy against the ropes. He was done, DONE!
It was only a matter of time before the whole Empire was mine!
Of course that was pulled off the table long before I had any chance
of actually winning it!?... He's a chump if you ask me!" was Avo's
quote when asked about the exchange by reporters! Avocado also
added later; "By the way, I have some nice glossy 8X10s of our
fearless leader on my kitchen floor if anyone is interested!
Let's just say that his idea of strategy after a few BEvERageS is
WAY different than say, um, I don't know - ANYONE ELSE!?..."
"SHUT UP MARK!" was the Cyber Kid's only reply?!...
Avocado makes his move?... Or
| Later in
the quarter, specifically the holidays, the Cyber Kid (and
entourage) again made there was towards central Florida for some
sun, fun and of course FUBAR shenanigans!?... Between the Cane
Corso puppy drool, Dolphin spit, Sting Rays and Pirates, fun times
were had by all! The FUBAR Upper Management (consisting of the
Cyber Kid and Armadillo) were able to even sneak in a little
"fishing" while they were out.
near pulled me out of my canoe!" Mark A had to say after his rod
snagged the "modest" shark, adding: "If it was for the Kid, I more
than likely would've had to let the fish go and save my canoe!"
Eyewitnesses say they spotted the two fishing off the coast in what
appeared to be small one-man canoes when one witness said, "We saw a
dark shape approach one of them and then Wham! He was hooked!
The big guy looked surprised at first, the little guy was too busy
playing with is worm?!..." (WTF?)
reports get a bit "questionable" at this point as to the "exact"
details of the catch BUT suffice to say that our Upper Management
had everything under control?! "Gotta say that's the
biggest damn fish I've ever seen!" was Avo's quote after dragging
the behemoth ashore! "Well, good thing you had me to whack it
over the head while it tried to eat your canoe!?" the Cyber
Kid was quoted!
nabbing a record setting Great White is no small feat and the two
FUBAR Hall of Famers of course took it all in stride - posing for
pictures and signing autographs... (Of course the Kid had
BEvERage in hand for the event!?...)
Kid and Armadillo show off - "We Need a Bigger Boat!?"!
Finally...As you know
there are FUBARHQ, FUBAR News Corporation and FUBARian fans all over the
globe. That said, it appears that we recently got a request from some
"fans" that we might consider questionable by most accounts? You
see, these fans live in a region of the globe that as of late has been
under much scrutiny for it's "anti-USA" sentiment. However as a
growing empire, we are willing to overlook "most" people's shortcomings
and not consider their political affiliations... after all, they are
first and foremost, fans! Loyal, dedicated and lifelong fans.
So these "gentlemen" requested some FUBARHQ souvenirs for there homes?!
Well, our marketing department got right on it and we're happy to
announce that we sent them a special
package with all the explosive FUBAR content they could ever want!?
We even autographed it! Delivery should be any day now and with
the military precision of our FUBAR Courier (along with a little help
from 9.8 ft/s2) I bet they will
just love it?!... We'll let you know if we get any thank you
|FUBARchives - Super Explosive
Edition; Packed w/ tons of new content!
||It's a one of a kind, we
even autographed it for them!?... (Can you say collectible?) ;-)
Finally, in other news,
seeing as how the Cyber Kid has his main HQ in Central Texas AND seeing
as how he hangs out at establishments with the word "Hooters" and/or "Redneck" in it;
The FHQ marketing had such a success with the new "VOTE FOR DAVE, GET
FREE BAIT!" posters supplementing the "VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE WINGS!"
campaign, that they just released three new posters using the various
slogans! So get out there and cast your vote!!!
- w/ Supporter Erika
- w/ Supporter Chantel
- w/ Supporters Devin & Chantel
Don't forget to check
Cyber Kid, along with the D-Mobile III (aka "The Beast") was a
featured extra "Officer Handlebar" in the Season 2, Episode 1
premiere of the break-out web hit
The Variants follows the zany adventures of comic shop proprietor,
Richard and his loyal band of store employees, Barry, Kelli, Joe and
the elusive Vlad as the (mostly) quartet find themselves in the most
precarious of situations.
For more information about the show or to watch the episode click
any of the respective links below -
(My Scene starts at
Also, be sure to come
back next quarter when we explain this picture -
Check out this great
picture of "Little Dude" on the Beach!
Iced Tea w/ a "little"
Yeah and this one!?...
Well that's all for this
don't forget about downloading the COMPLETE FUBARchives 2011 edition!
Unlocking the FUBAR vaults,
every FUBAR document in HQ, the FUBAR Press Corp. has been painstakingly
recreated scanned. Unlike the FUBARchives newsletter anthology sent to select FUBAR's back in 2000 this
collection contains ALL of those newsletters as well as NEVER BEFORE SEEN
stats, rosters, receipts and photos! Effectively - EVERY SINGLE PIECE
OF PAPER we have pertaining to the FUBAR's! DON'T FORGET - IT'S ENTIRELY
FREE!!! By clicking the link provided, you
may begin to download any section or the entire FUBARchive! So please
MINDFUL WEB CONTENT REMINDER
Be sure to visit the newest
in the FUBAR Publishing
News, the FUBAR Entertainment Group repertoire - CHEEKY MONKEY's photo
blog/online journal. UPDATED and sorted by year, the monkey has
and 1000+ captioned photos (Not to Mention the
UN-CUT album - if you can find it!? featuring 250+ pics of the monkey
in the raw!?); The monkey is swingin'?...
"He Gets Around..."
And finally, here's yet another installment of WTF...
24.7 inches tall! That's
a real &%$*#! Human?!...
"B-Jay"... for less than
$2.00... just sayin'!?...
Well gang, until next time, this has been
your faithful reporter with the latest, almost-quarterly, load of gruel!
Enough FUBAR for ya?!...