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Jet-Setting, Birthday's and the Fall of the A.J.?

"The A.J.", Cyber Kid and Jeff "E"-nebriated celebrate Independence Day FUBAR Style!

Hello FUBARians, 

Hope all has been well with my favorite legion this 3rd Quarter of 2008?  So much has been happening this past Quarter, we're not even sure where to begin?... So, guess we'll just do what we always do? - Jump right in!...

And speaking of “jumping” - or not as the case may be, the infamous “AJ” was back in regional news reports this past quarter when he, or rather "it" was severely injured while ice skating!?  “Yeah, it was just frolicking about out there on the ice and the next thing I knew,  it was laid out, cryin' like a girl!”  Jeff “E” Mergency was quoted as saying at the time of the incident.  "I was playing Hockey!... Not Ice Skating!  Not Ice Skating!"  the AJ was heard to be shouting as FUBAR Paramedics strapped his to the gurney and threw him in the van!  His cries however mostly drown out by the people chanting “Down with the beast!” and “Put it out of it's misery!”

Immediately following the injury, many questions had arisen and citizens flooded the FUBARHQ to hear the fate of the “AJ.”  Within days, the Cyber Kid made this statement at a FUBAR press conference - "Ladies and Gentlemen.  I just want to put your fears to rest.  The AJ will terrorize you no more BUT, it will not be “put out of it's misery,” no ladies and gentlemen.  The AJ is resting comfortably at the FUBAR Medical Center where he has undergone some major restorative surgery!?  We are happy to announce that his “spirit” has been broken and that we have in fact "rebuilt him!"  Worry no more, the AJ will no longer run a muck causing havoc in our town!”

Supporting photos of the injuries were provided during the press conference -

"Break a leg" Carrie said before he hit the ice!?... Sounds fishy? The "fix"  - "Ain't nothin' rusty screws, metal and duct tape can't fix!?"

“As you can see in the x-rays, the AJ had suffered a severe leg injury ice skating. ("I WAS PLAYING HOCKEY!")  But the expert doctors at the FUBAR Medical Center were able to “patch” the leg using some spare bolts and an old transistor radio antenna they found in the FUBAR Garage to “fix 'em right up!” - Mark “Armadillo said later!


However, weeks following the incident brought concerns as the AJ continued to heal, many people were calling the FHQ with alarm - “Um, yeah, I was at Hooter's and I saw the AJ hobbling by, what's with all the hair growth?  Should we be concerned?” 


Trying to alleviate their fears once more, the FUBAR HQ published the following statement –

 Information Release – Regarding the creature known as the “AJ.”

 There have been many sightings of the AJ during it's ongoing recovery period.  Many people have noticed some, almost, freakish changes since the AJ's injury and subsequent surgery but we at the FUBAR Headquarters wish to inform you that these “changes” are completely normal and totally harmless (well at least to you, maybe not the AJ!?)  and are merely a result of the surgical process and hormone altering drug regimen it's been taking.  Some of the symptoms you may observe include – Excessive Hair Growth, Barking, Runny Nose, Grumpiness, Weight Gain, Lethargy, Mass Food Consumption, Self Promotion, Dog Breath and Gas!

Please Do Not be alarmed if you see the AJ displaying any of these symptoms and NEVER engage in any behavior that MAY help to aggravate the symptom!  (That means don't throw it any Cheetos Jeff!)

So, we here at the FNC will continue to monitor the progress of the AJ.  (Note: at time of publishing, reports of the AJ have been received claiming that it is in fact "getting" about without the use of "support devices."  Stay tuned to the FNC for more on this continuing story!?...)

In other news, the Cyber Kid has been in hot water again this past quarter, having to explain why he has been traveling all over the world.  “Many FUBAR insiders and members of the Upper Management feel that the Cyber Kid doesn't really have this new “airline job” and that he is "merely squandering away our hard earned member ship dues traveling around the globe” an unnamed source said!  (It was Rothy)

Dave M, alleged embezzler and FUBAR CEO/Founder had this to say, "All I can tell you is some people just focus on what you're doing and not how you got there - it's like the kid who buys the Happy Meal and goes right for the toy!  What about the delicious meal too - the substance?  I've seen this type of jealousy a million times but I assure you my faithful people, I have a legitimate position with an air carrier and that I am not using money from the FUBAR Treasury to subsidize my travel to destinations like Milan, Rome, Cairo, London and the like!  Besides can we EVER believe what Rothy has to say anyway?  Seriously people, open your eyes!"

The Cyber Kid was then quickly led away under protection - chants of "Down with the little Dictator" could be heard from the mob of protestors outside!  (Actually, it's was heard just from Mark "I'm gonna take over" Avocado but it sounded better the other way!?)  Either way, we'll be watching this developing revolution as it unfolds - "Vive le FUBAR Resistance!" 

Finally, in serious news, Jeff "E" and his lovely wife, as did the Cyber Kid and his better half just celebrated the 1 year anniversary of their daughters.  Much fanfare and debauchery ensued and we have all the pics to prove it!  Look on and enjoy!...

Miss Emmie Miss Jessica
YUMMY CAKE!... Thanks Mommy for making it for me! YUMMY CAKE!... Thanks Kroger Bakery for making it for me!?... :o(

Other than that, the FNC has new pics, DARTH M News and of course a new FOTQ, so enjoy and until next quarter, watch this space - enjoy the newest collection of "WTF" -

Check out these guns!?... "Reptiles & Amphibians" - Sure it is!?... Just bring your Valtrex!?...  

      OK, switched back to full caffeine - most nights anyway!?  Until next quarter, this has again been your faithful servant,

Dave "Cyber Kid" - CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989


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