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06/04/2010

AJ Sighting!

       In an unbelievable report, the FNC has just received possible proof of a sighting of the elusive and often dangerous AJ "The Original Cannon" Berlotti; aka - "The Wall", "Mr. Athletic" and lately "The Ghost."  AJ was last seen in the Daytona Beach area in 1996 and then just seemed to "disappear" according to sources interviewed back then (which I just made up for the purposes of this story...  what?  Sorry thinking out loud again, anyway...)

       The FNC Photographic Forensic Team (FNC-PhForT) is analyzing a photo they received just days ago related to the controversal sighting.  Although too early to be sure, the team is confident that the photo is authentic.  "Our confidence is extremely high.  It's been a while, but we never forget a face here at the FNC.  What's you're name again?"  "Dude, It's me Chris Roth!  What the hell?"  "Oh, sorry didn't recognize you!?..."  

       FNC phones were at peak fielding calls about the sighting and local law enforcement officials are interviewing high level FNC management to figure out how to deal with this situation.  The photo in question is a bit blurry, but the eyewitness was "scared for his life."  "I got a picture of him, and then I was loading my camera with new film to take some more when it charged another person!" the eyewitness reportedly said.  The FNC has yet to hear anything else as no one else has come forward in relation to this sighting.  "Boy if you have any information in regards to this, man, we'd love to hear from you." One high ranking FNC official said in a press release (It was Mark "Armadillo.")  In any case, as soon as we here at the FNC get anything more, you'll be the ninth or tenth person to know about it.  For now, the one photo we do have is below with FNC-PhForT analysis. 

The original photo -as yet untouched or edited by the FNC-PhForT

       Here's the evidence as transcribed from the FNC Press conference -

       "Using the latest state-of-the-art equipment, we were able to painstakingly "Zoom" into the picture to take a better look at the creature.  Taking a closer look at the subject, you can clearly see the signature hat hiding the hideously misshapen skull, sloped forehead and bushy caveman-esque eyebrows (FNC means no offense to cavemen and if offended, apologize to cavemen everywhere.  Editor's note - Trust us, you don't want those "cro-mag" dudes coming after you, no reasoning with them; at all!?...)  In addition, you'll notice the subject appears to be walking in a hunched over fashion and sporting an overall lanky, submissive, almost frightened demeanor.

       The subject as well, is clearly carrying a "weapon" of some kind and quite frankly, we're surprised the individual stopped to get any pictures at all.  Frightened creatures tend to attack without provocation and here we clearly see a danger and we're eager to hear from this other person who the eyewitness said was rushed.  It would be truly remarkable if he survived the encounter."

       FNC had no further comments at the press conference, but just look for your self folks.  It's him, AJ, apparently back for 2005 in all his grotesqueness.  Man what rock was overturned to dig this guy up huh?...

Close-Up of original photo using state-of-the-art equipment

 

       Well, that's all we have for now on this unsettling situation, but as soon as we hear anything else about the other alleged eyewitness, we'll update you and so for now, we'll move on to other news -

The FUBARHQ.com web has undergone some renovations and fortunately for you, you were never aware of them but now, you get the benefit of them without all the construction noise.  So, "Just what the hell have we been doing here at the FNC?" you ask, well, check it out, new features include (but are not limited to) -

1. New navigation feature has been added to the ALEX Photo Pages to facilitate easier browsing of the large format pictures

2. New Photos of ALEX added - 5 more weeks (24 more pics)

3. The FUBAR News Corporation buttons on the left side have been removed and reduced to just one Button that will take you to the FUBAR News Corporation where you can still find all your favorite FNC Links

4. New humor added to the HUMOR section (plus, see number 6. below)

5. New stuff added to the STUFF section (many more "must have" applications)

6. OLD FUBAR CD-ROM/Webpage content added throughout the site (we're talkin' STORYTIME folks!)

7. New Hooters restaurant added to the Now infamous HOOTERS list in the LINKS/FOOD section

8. FOTQ Archives have been updated and now are up to date (Gordo will be ecstatic)

 

So, Until next time, your guest  reporter -

Alex "Future FUBAR HAll of Famer" M aka - "FLASH" filling in for the missing (aka "slacker extreme") 

Dave "The Cyber Kid"

CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989

Dave CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989

 

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