So, we’ll start with the beginning of the 2nd
quarter of the 25th Anniversary celebrations which saw
the FUBAR CEO hanging out, AGAIN, with none other than “The A.J.!”
Now while this occurrence wouldn’t normally seem “suspicious”, the
duo were spotted at a restaurant (Yes, it was Hooters) at the exact
same table they met at a few months earlier AND – Yes! In addition,
they were being served by the exact same waitress that “The A.J.”
was giving the Top Gun treatment too the first time!? (Whatever
that “treatment” actually means? Note – The FNC actually called
“The A.J.” and asked about his hand flying gestures and what you’d
call it and he said it was just “Being Bad-@$$!” but to us it looked
like “Tom-Cruise-Foolery?!” (Oh, AND YES, we own that word now too –
Cuz’ it’s awesome!))
So, anyway, back to the news… Now, on this occasion, while
the dynamic duo were much more reserved (meaning they didn’t have to
call underage non-BEvERage drinkers to come drive them home) the
question on everyone’s thoughts was, what were they actually
discussing? Many (well mostly here at the FNC) believe it ties
into the “SECRET” FUBAR Upper Echelon weekend getaway w/ the Cyber
Kid, Avocado and 3 other unknown but nefarious looking types? (More
on that later)
So moving on, “The A.J.” and the Cyber Kid completed their
meeting, took obligatory photos w/ fans and went their separate
ways. However, FUBAR News has just discovered a phone log in which
“The A.J.” has a phone call placed to former FUBAR Captain Mark
“Armadillo?!” The call was placed during the meeting between the
Cyber Kid and “The A.J.” When asked about the suspected call-log –
“The A.J.” denies ever placing the call? The FUBAR Investigative
Team (FIT) is still looking into the origination of the call.
and FUBAR Fan Chandler (Again?!)
So, this leads us to our main story. At the end of April The
FUBAR CEO, utilizing a commercial aircraft, flew out to Black Rock
Mountain Georgia and allegedly spent the weekend at a retreat with
Avocado and three other men (these men are just now only know as
Zoom, The Banker and The Lawyer.)
Now, even more “just recently”, the FUBAR News Corp has
acquired this photo of the quintet around what can only be described
as a map of the modern world. One FNC reporter stated about the
picture – “As you can see, the map is complete and contains numerous
“militant looking” miniatures. Now, based on previous, photos,
reports and our own paranoi… ‘er um concrete investigative
journalism, we can confirm that this map can only represent a plan
for TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION! Obviously, the map and the military
units contained on it clearly represent the legions of troops this
“brain-trust” will command in their ultimate push for TOTAL WORLD
The Cyber Kid (playing w/ security camera),
Avocado, The Lawyer, Banker (blurry) & Zoom...
Here at the FNC, To ensure our intentions were not biased, we
sent this photo to our FUBAR Psychological Photo Analysis Dept (FPPA)
for a complete analytical breakdown. The random psychologist we
made up for this story had this to say about the photo; “Well, it’s
clear looking at this picture that these five men have homo-erotic
tendencies (not that there’s anything wrong with that) due to the
fact that they are holed up in a cabin in the woods for three days
with nary a female in site. Now if that doesn’t scream Deliverance,
I don’t know what does!?” The FUBAR News Corp, then passed the
photo to another completely fictitious psychologist at the FPPA with
the following instruction – Do these men look like they are planning
TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION?
That psychologist had this report presented to the FUBAR News
“Yes, absolutely does it appear that these five men are
planning a maniacal and bloodthirsty plot for TOTAL WORLD
DOMINATION!” The report went on to further state; “It is clear in
this photo that these men, looking at their jocular expressions and
laissez-faire attitude towards the whole endeavor, have no respect
for human life and they will acquire their goal by any means”.
(from left) Zoom, Cyber Kid, The Banker, Avocado
and The Lawyer
We, at the FNC, put this photo through further intense Facial
Emotion Determination Software (FEDS) and we were able to ascertain
the following assessments – (Clockwise from Left) –
- The man in foreground,
known simply as “Zoom”, may be indifferent and/OR may have
“roofee’d” one or more of the men in his company?
- The FUBAR CEO and
Founder, Dave “The Cyber Kid” is way overdo for a haircut, shallow,
and clearly insecure about himself
- The “shifty” looking
fellow in the back center, known only as “The Banker”, may be the
true mastermind of this scheme; FEDS determines this man to be angry
and cynical and possesses a Napoleonic complex (probably due to his
below average height?)
- Mark “Armadillo” is
nervous, distant and according to FEDS – WAY TOO SOBER for the
- Finally, the jolly
looking fellow with the “Cheshire cat” grin, known as “The LAWYER”
is VERY happy to be there! (Like a dog that’s been invited to the
table and given a treat!) FEDS scores his emotion as either EXTREME
happiness, or Gas! Either way, that guy is ready to pop w/
Anyway, feel free to
peruse the additional pictures below of the FUBAR CEO & his
co-conspirators the FNC was able to acquire of the STUD (Society of
Total Uber Dorkiness) weekend.
up for what can only be a LONG conclave?...
in some ritualistic behavior (Is that Russo's thigh?!)
Force"? What can it mean?
Banker And Zoom up to obviously NO GOOD!
see, Cyber Kid OR Zoom trying to eliminate competition?
"FOOTBALL" - Yup! We're ALL totally FUBARed!...
So, there you have it folks; like Snowden and his leaked
classified CIA documents or The Watergate Tapes OR Monica’s dress –
UNDENIABLE PROOF of a conspiracy to commit TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION!
So, as the FUBAR News continues to investigate and learn more about
the three new faces in this ever growing story, we urge you to stay
tuned and ask a lot of questions (But Don’t GOOGLE it! Oh, and
don’t ask Agent Scully, that chick has blinders on!?)
So, in other news, the FUBAR CEO/Founder was spotted making
the rounds around the US as usual pushing his “VOTE FOR DAVE, GET
FREE WINGS!” and “VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE BAIT!” campaigns, BUT new
for 2015 the FUBAR Political Group has just revealed a new set of
campaign posters – “VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE COMICS!” When asked
about the new push towards attracting the elusive “geek” and “dork”
vote, the FUBAR Leader made this statement during a Comic Con; “I’ve
been going to numerous Comic and Pop-Culture events for a number of
years now and it was merely a natural evolution. I see a need from
the fans of these venues to have their voices heard and who better
than yours truly? I mean seriously, I know the culture but, I’m
freakin’ cool so, naturally, they’ll want to follow me!?... This is
all off the record right?!” (At that questions, our reporter
(ironically wearing a red-shirt) quickly ducked into a passing crowd
of Star Trek cosplayers and was never seen again…) So, enjoy the
following FNC exclusive posters for the “VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE
COMICS!” campaign (and maybe a few others of the FUBAR CEO/Founder
enjoying various other social events (like the Alamo City Comic Con)
on your dues dollars…)
"These" guys are innocent - THBBT!
So, now that’s done, enjoy these brand spanking new
“VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE WINGS!” and “VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE BAIT!”
And just because we're only 13
months away from the general election and it's October (BREAST CANCER
AWARENESS MONTH - SAVE THE TATA's), the FUBAR Press Corp has decided to ramp
things up with these four additional "Vote For Dave..." PINK campaign
posters... (If you donate $1 to the Susan G. Koman Breast Cancer Fund, the
FNC will email you a nice small .jpeg of these posters - suitable for
framing of course!?)
Well, that's it! DON'T FORGET - The COMPLETE FUBARchives 2011 edition is still FREE! -
Unlocking the FUBAR vaults,
every FUBAR document in FUBARHQ and the FUBAR Press Corp. has been painstakingly
recreated & scanned. Unlike the FUBARchives newsletter anthology sent to select FUBAR's back in 2000 this
collection contains ALL of those newsletters as well as NEVER BEFORE SEEN
stats, rosters, receipts and photos! Effectively - EVERY SINGLE PIECE
OF PAPER we have pertaining to the FUBAR's! DON'T FORGET - IT'S ENTIRELY
FREE!!! By clicking the link provided, you
may begin to download any section or the entire FUBARchive! So please
Also be sure to check out all the FUBAR Shenanigans
on FUBARHQ Vimeo!
FUBARHQ ON VIMEO!
Of YOUR FUBAR VIDEO CONTENT AT -
Also, be sure to
come back next quarter when we explain this...
- I'm gonna own you one day...
and this "E"ngel Pic?!...
YouTube internet throwback...
Freeze! Drop The Comics!
MINDFUL WEB CONTENT REMINDER
Be sure to visit the newest
in the FUBAR Publishing
News, the FUBAR Entertainment Group repertoire - CHEEKY MONKEY's photo
blog/online journal. UPDATED and sorted by year, the monkey has
and 2000+ captioned photos (Not to Mention the
UN-CUT album - if you can find it!? featuring OVER 1100+ pics of the monkey
in the raw!?); The monkey is swingin'?...
"He Gets Around..."
And finally, here's yet another installment of WTF
some bar/restaurant signs...
ONE MORE VARIANTS REMINDER
The Cyber Kid was asked
to provide the D-Mobile III (aka "The Beast") for a couple
episodes of the
The Variants. Always willing to lend a hand, the Cyber Kid
took the reigns as vehicle stunt coordinator for the driving scenes as well
as featured extra "Officer Handlebar" in the Season 2, Episode 1 premiere of
The Variants! (Links are
So, if you haven't seen it yet, be sure to watch Season's 1-3 on YouTube.com.
The Variants follows the zany adventures of comic shop proprietor,
Richard and his loyal band of store employees, Barry, Kelli, Joe and
the elusive Vlad as the quartet (most of the time) find themselves in the most
precarious of situations.
For more information about the show or to watch the episode click
any of the respective links below -
(My Scene starts at
Season 3 Episode 7
(FUBAR CEO Dave's '77 Impala
("The BEAST") is featured prominently throughout the episode!)
Well gang, until next time,
this has been your always loyal reporter - Now go grab another BEvERage
and remember you cannot un-see what you just saw?! -
Enough FUBAR for ya?!...