Now we here at the FNC just want to assure our constituents that while we would never put anything above the needs of our followers unless it was truly a worthwhile endeavor!  FNC of course has heard the rumors that have spread alluding that these “commitments” the FNC has so willingly placed it’s organization with the needs of millions on hold for are merely nothing more than two small humans of the Ages 10 & 7!  Well, Dave “Cyber Kid” M, FUBAR News Corporation CEO/Founder and FUBAR Hall-of-Famer said this in a recent press statement; “I know, I know it’s been a while BUT I ‘er WE just want to be brutally honest with our loyal followers and tell you that YES, it’s true!  We threw you losers ‘er followers, to the wolves for the sake of two small humans!  But hear me out, they are the future of the FUBAR organization and in order for our MEGA-PIRE to thrive and grow and continue to dominate we hear the FNC MUST maintain the lineage and heritage we all have come to respect and expect!  Not to mention, the little people are Freakin’ Fast and quick witted!; So that takes A LOT of time to keep up with?!...

       It was reported that while those in attendance were not entirely convinced of the FUBAR Leaders reply, all was soon forgiven once the complimentary BEvERageS and food were distributed! The FUBAR CEO/Founder was escorted to the FUBAR Chopper to raucous applause and chants of “Vive Le FUBARS!”, “Mark Avocado’s Are Good Eating!?” and “We LOVE You AJ!”

       So, now that ALL is forgiven, that should bring us to now, 25 YEARS!  As your loyal reporter sits in First Class at 31,000, drinking Single Malt (Thank You FUBARS Dues dollars!?...)  it’s hard not to reflect and reminisce about the last 25 YEARS!  Good grief that’s a LONG time!  A quick historical recap - The FUBAR’s (modern day) started it all in 1990 in Daytona Beach, FL.  A sub-faction of the Bronx, New York organization named the Jesse James FUBARS.  

Bill "Thrillseeker" (circa 1989)

       The Daytona Beach organization ultimately became the overriding and parent organization in the early 90’s during its sports dominance era!  Continuing to grow and build supporters through the mid 90’s, the FUBAR’s moved headquarters in 1997 to England in order to better facilitate it’s growth throughout Europe prior to the turn of the century!  In 1999, with the FUBAR’s ideals firmly entrenched in Europe, FUBAR CEO/Founder Dave “Darth” M came back to the Good ‘ole US of A for the final push into the 21^st century!  So, here we are 15 years later, still in Central Texas and 25 years from its humble beginnings, the FUBAR’s continue to headquarter the World recognized brand from Central Texas, the FUBAR’s are still one to watch!  If you want to appreciate all the highs, lows, turmoil and drama that the FUBAR’s experienced in its history BE sure to download the FUBARchives and read the FUBAR News Corporation NEWS historical pages! – What a long, strange journey it’s been!?...

General Rooney Leads the Charge! (circa 1988)

       Now, in case you thought we forgot, here’s the news!  (We’ll do our best to get it all in from last May!?)

       So, what’s the FUBAR’s been up to despite chasing little people around and raising them for total world domination?  Well, basically, despite the lack of NEWS Updates, the Cyber Kid has still been quite active in the FUBAR communities, spending many trips and slivers of free time meeting with former FUBAR Captains and Hall-of-Famers when possible to discuss the upcoming 25^th Anniversary! 

       So, going back to 4^th Quarter 2013 FUBAR CEO Dave “El Capitan”, FUBAR HAll of Famer Jeff “I can hear you getting fatter” E and FUBAR Hall of Famer simply known as “The AJ” got together for what would be the first of several meetings to discuss possible 25^th Anniversary plans or at the very least how they could blow off the bash altogether and spend all the FUBAR Dues money on drugs, booze and babes!?...

“E”, The Kid and The AJ answer the age-old question; “Who’s got the bigger head?”

       With dues money well spent, the FUBARS rolled into the second quarter of 2014 with a visit to The FUBAR Headquarters by none-other than the offspring of one of the most beloved of all FUBAR’s: Jesse “The Psycho” Rhodes! 

       En-route to their new dwelling in the Pacific Northwest, Allison “Psycho Wife" R., accompanied by Emma and Aiden (reigning winner of the Jesse look-a-like contest) spent some time with the Cyber Kid and Co. 

       Much fun ensued and of course the FUBAR’s welcomed Jesse’ protégé as if they were our own!  Don’t forget to visit the Rhodes Wing for absolutely NO update whatsoever but, if nothing else you can raise a pint in tribute to one of our own!  (If you’re not good at toasts – try this one – “Here’s to you as good as you are, and here’s to me as bad as I am.  And as good as you are, and as bad as I am; I’m as good as you are, as bad as I am!”  <DRINK!>

OR

"I'm not the fig plucker, nor the fig plucker's son.  But I'll pluck the figs, till the fig plucker comes!" <DRINK!>

Aiden “The Jesse”, Emma “Sassy”, Jess “Bunny” and Alex “Heir Apparent”

       Continuing into the 2nd quarter of 2014 - Jeff “Captain My @$$” E and Dave “I’m THE Captain Now!” M hooked up for a brief “Howyadoin” in New York’s LaGuardia Airport in March!  Jeff was of course enroute from various FUBAR functions including helping with the newest campaign slogan - “Vote For Dave, Get Free Ice!” 

       When asked about the meeting by the FNC, Jeff only said; “It wasn’t anything special, we just grabbed a cup of coffee and discussed the – HEY!  Wait a cotton pickin’ minute - He made me pay?!  Dang it! - WTF is that all about!  Man that guy is quick!?...”  Jeff then made what was described as a “pouty-face” and stomped his foot three times before storming off towards the departure gate!?...

Jeff "E"ngel & The Cyber Kid

       So, life ensues and we rolled into the 3rd quarter of 2014 where The Cyber Kid once again began some planned as well as some impromptu FUBAR Upper Echelon “Meet And Greets” 

       In July, while the Little People were back in the United Kingdom (specifically England), the Cyber Kid spent many nights out partying till all hours.  On one such evening, there was a Major AJ sighting as The AJ and the Cyber Kid were spotted at a local eatery known for its OWLS (No it wasn’t Hogwarts School for Wizardry and Witchcraft!...  Yes, it was a Hooters!) where The Cyber Kid drank mass quantities of BEvERageS.

       It was reported that The AJ tried to impress the waitress with his (as he was overheard saying;)  “…innate, yet somehow almost supernatural, aeronautical ability to constantly fly an aircraft at the edge of its performance envelope from Point-A to Point-B without incident and all the while never using an autopilot, auto throttles, navigations charts, aids and/or instruments while in instrument meteorological conditions and never wearing a seatbelt!”  The AJ was also overheard stating that he; “Once flew the River Visual into Washington, DC’s Ronald Reagan Airport all the while in a negative -6-G dive!?”  (Yes, it was reported that a patron somewhere nearby coughed “BULL$#!+!”)   When asked about the incident; all the AJ stated was; “Look, It’s just the way I fly; Ice-Cold, No Mistakes!  I don’t know what to tell you, Hater’s gonna hate…  hate, hate!”

"No... Freakin'... Way!?..."  ("Yup!...Inverted!?")

       In addition to the local eatery know only for it’s OWLS, The AJ and the Cyber Kid hit another local eatery for their Wednesday Bikini Night!  Apparently, The AJ knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew THE guy, so that meant THAT guy comped drinks and so, the dynamic duo drank gratis all night!  (Yes, that how we roll at the FUBARHQ!  Besides, we had your dues money on reserve if we had to pay!?...) 

       So yes, there was more BEvERageS, tomfoolery, not to mention (but we will) monkey’s, pictures, shots, MORE BEvERageS and of-course last-minute late night calls for underage (highly responsible)designated drivers!?...)

       Unfortunately it was a "closed" event BUT, we here at the FNC like to keep you WELL-informed so - you'll have to settle for the ONE picture the FNC was able to "purchase" from an unnamed source!?...

The AJ w/ his fans!

       Into the mid-3rd quarter, Jeff “Soprano” E stopped in for yet another quick visit to FUBARHQ.  A stopover on his Cyber Kid campaigning drive, the two FUBAR Upper Management met for a quick dinner and FUBAR discussions!  Rumors again that the two FUBAR Hall-Of-Famers discussed more plans for the upcoming FUBAR 25th Anniversary!

       Although FNC didn’t have any reporters in the vicinity of the meet, a FUBAR follower posted the following on their Instagram account: 

“The Cyber Kid and “E” are HERE!  Right now!  #Holy Crap  #areyouFUBARkiddingme #IvediedandgonetoFUBARheaven  #HesBiggerInPerson?

The Cyber Kid, (FUBAR-Fan) Shelby, and Big "E"

       The 3rd quarter finished up with the Cyber Kid and the FUBAR News Corporation being contacted by none other than FUBAR Hall of Fame Captain Scott “the Horrible” Hager!  With time to kill, the former FUBAR Captain spent some time at the FUBARHQ with the Cyber Kid. 

       There was much talk of the upcoming 25^th anniversary and of course, the FUBARs glory days!  The Cyber Kid enlisted some help from Scott for the FUBAR heir, Alex’s, baseball training.  Afterward, the boys enjoyed a BEvERage or two and Scott found some time to help take some shots for the next round of “Vote For Dave, Get Free Bait!” campaign posters! 

       An FNC reporter caught up with Scott recently to see what the two FUBAR icons discussed; “Nothing much!  The typical stuff but mainly we talked about our boys, sports and the FUBAR World Domination plans…  WAIT!  Forget that last part.  That was supposed to be hush, hush!?...  HEY, look at the time!? – gotta run!....”

The Cyber Kid and Hager the Horrible

       Finally, we hit the 4th quarter of 2014 and the Cyber Kid was right in it over his head (literally in the water, over his head) as he made his way down to the FUBAR spawning ground in Central Florida!  Sun, Surf and Sand were on the menu along w/ mass quantities of BEvERageS and FUBAR events!  The Cyber Kid and Mark Avocado made their way down to the surf for a little wave-action prior to the evening’s festivities!

       The FUBAR’s had loads of press time and unveiled a few NEW programs…  The biggest news of course was the introduction of the brand new FISP (FUBARs In Space Program) and the announcement that Mark “Sayonara Suckers” Avocado would be the inaugural FISP Cadet!

       “Well, with the NASA shuttle program basically gone the way of the dinosaur, we here at the FUBAR Upper Management figured this was the next BIG move!  I mean it’s space!  Uncharted, unclaimed space and it’s gonna be ALL OURS!?...”  said FUBAR CEO Dave “Maniacal” Mater during one of the many press conferences during the two day event!  Mark was asked about his new venture into the great beyond to which he told a FUBAR News Reporter; “Wait?!  What!?  He didn’t say anything about space!  HE just said, hey stick your head in that hole and smile!?  I’m just here for the free food, not to be launched into space!?  Forget that $#!+!”

       Much FUBAR fun to be had by all in attendance, enjoy these pics (if you missed it) from the two-day MEGA-EVENT!...

Avocado and the Cyber Kid search for the Big Kahuna

Avocado and the Cyber Kid hit the Beach!

       So, after the FUBAR Florida MEGA-EVENT that brought us pretty close (enough) to the end of the 24^th Year of the FUBARS.  And the 24th year rolled out pretty much the same as it had the 23 previous, with some Turkey, Hobbits and a couple quiet weeks before New Years.  New Years meant (of course) another MASSIVE FUBAR blow-out and year-ending event at the FUBARHQ!  (Didn't get an invite?  Oh well, you missed one major party!?...)   

       “Even the monkey’s were passed out!?”  said one guest attending the legendary FUBAR event!  Of course a closed door event with a STRICT no cell-phone or photo policy, the FNC did manage to capture this ONE image from about 3:26am?!...

"The Monkey's Down..."

       When cornered by FUBAR News Staff leaving the eatery (Yes - More Owls!)Dave "El Jefe" Mater only made this comment; "You guys are so far off!  We had wings, few BEvERageS and discussed the game!"  When asked about the game the FUBAR CEO and Captain Mark wouldn't comment.  FUBAR News has sinced learned of a "game" entitled "The Sun Never Sets" that was created by the FUBAR CEO.  While the game seems innocuous enough, some consipracists believe it is nothing more than a cover for global domination.  You can freely download the rules to the game by clicking here (www.FUBARGames.com) - Innocent or merely a cover?- You can decide for yourself...

       So all we can say now is stayed tuned for more on that developing story AND further FUBAR 25^th Anniversary Events!  In the meantime, enjoy these new posters for the “Vote For Dave, Get Free Wings!” and "Vote For Dave, Get Free Bait!" campaigns! (We've added "Vote For Dave, Get Free Ice!")

Avo and Darth Mater hang w/ FUBAR fans Nikki & Jess!

"The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town.  The next time you take a test it'll be in another school.  Our parents, they want the bestest stuff for us.  But right now they gotta do what's right for them, 'cause it's their time.  Their time, up there.  Down here it's our time.  It's our time down here.  That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket."

"First you gotta do the truffle shuffle."