Hope all is well this 2nd quarter of 2013?! –
Forgive our absence for the past 10 months but the
FUBARHQ has been undergoing a major "renovation." Now, considering
that the FNC reported back in July of 2012 that the FNC (in association with
the FHQ) was really busy doing FNC stuff AND wasn't actually ignoring it's
fans, one could see why people are skeptical after a 10 month hiatus?!
So, we're back and ready to answer any questions you might have BUT first,
let US tell you what's been going on!...
Having had various "problems" with paparazzi and the like over the
past several years, the FUBAR CEO Dave "Wild Man" Mater put a plan
together to move the FUBARHQ to a new larger, more secure location!
This would of course entail finding a suitable venue to house the
FUBAR Upper Management, FUBAR entourage and of course, the
FUBARchives! In addition to sourcing a new location, the old
FHQ would have to be renovated, declassified AND subsequently
liquidated. All of this would of course have to happen with
minimal staffing, military-esque precision, secrecy and of course NO
Paparazzi! So, between July 2012 and April 2013, the FHQ did
Over the course of the past 10 months, the FHQ sourced a new venue,
purchased the property, packed up the decades worth of historical
artifacts, documents and photos and moved! An additional six
months was then taken to unpack, re-evaluate, re-organize and set-up
the brand new FHQ! - Complete with pool, hot-tub and yes... a sauna!
(Thank you dues-paying members!?)... All of this was possible
thru the master workings of our fearless leader CEO and FUBAR
Founder Dave M. with the help of A.J. "I'm not eating flesh anymore"
A.J. Sighting near alleged new
Jeff "Missing an E" ngel was
the first FUBAR member to spend anytime at the new FHQ. Sworn
to secrecy about it's new location, Jeff would only say this to
reporters who caught up with him at the Denver Intl airport; "It's
pretty sweet! I had my own wing basically. Treated like
royalty, all the amenities of a five star hotel and BEvERageS!
Lots and Lots of BEvERageS! Heff's got nothin' on Mater,
let me tell you!?..."
Of course despite all that secret moving, no one was the wiser as
FUBARHQ CEO Dave M. kept up his rigorous campaign and appearance
schedule. When the news of a possible FHQ move in the middle
of the night had begun to surface, Dave M had this to say to
paparazzi; "Ha Ha you suckers! It's already done! I'm
happy to report that the FHQ has ALREADY moved! We even did it
in the middle of the freakin' day! Now, you'll have to make
some serious effort if you want to find out where the new HQ is!
Trust me, we spared no expense to keep it's location secret!"
So, there it is folks - It's Official- FHQ has in fact moved.
Now while the FNC has received the above photo from Dept. of Defense
satellite imagery, we have yet o confirm the building depicted
within the Red circle is the new location fo the FUBARHQ compound!
We WILL of course continue to follow this developing story!
Now, as always onto other FHQ news from the past 10 months!
Now go grab a BEvERage kids and follow along!...
The Cyber Kid w/
FUBAR Hall of Famer Jeff "E" ngel!
So nearly ten
months ago, the FNC had just updated the FUBAR News Corp. website
and, begun the process of secretly locating and procuring a new site
for the FHQ! After many years of dealing with paparazzi and
countless fans, FUBAR CEO and Founder Dave M. had enough of
the prying eyes of society's mediocrity and feltt it was time for a
change of venue! Digging up all the chests of money buried in
the yard of the former FHQ compound (aka "Dues Dollars!?") the Cyber
Kid began the hunt! It didn't take long as the FUBAR
Patriarch, along with members of his senior staff had apparently
located a suitable replacement by end of August 2012!
Rumored to be 40% larger then the former FUBAR HQ, the new compound
boasts some nice amenities -
Walk-In attic space
3 Car garage
Heated Pool w/ Waterfall and Hot Tub
Gatling Gun Criminal "deterrent" system
So while these new "upgraded" FHQ features cannot be confirmed as
the new location still remains a well guarded secret, sources (aka
Jeff "Big Mouth" E) at the FNC say that it's pretty much; "On the
Jeff "Tony Soprano" E and
the Cyber Kid hanging in Dallas, 2013!
Closing out 2012, the Cyber Kid made some stops in the Midwest and
Central portions of the US. Enroute on his campaign tour, the
Cyber Kid ran into (not literally) Brian "I'm such a" Messer!
Brian was very excited to run into the FUBAR CEO, he had difficulty
containing his excitement according to witnesses at the scene!
"Holy smokes! It's Mater! I love this guy!... I mean it
would be great if he'd update the FUBAR website once in a while BUT
man.. it sure is good to see him!" Witnesses say after his
comments to the press, the two FUBAR Hall of Famer's exchanged a few
more words and then it looked as though Brian "may" have given the
FUBAR CEO a "lean in?" FNC assures you there was no actual
contact BUT based on the now infamous paparazzi pics from the past
decade (see exhibit's A-C below), one wouldn't "rule it out!?"
definitely don't think it was a "lean-in" the Cyber Kid said at a
later interview adding; "No, we went for a "Bro-Hug" and it just
came across awkward so we waved off at the last second... Not
that anything is wrong with THAT sort of lifestyle.. you know, IF
Brian's into that sort of thing. "It's Not my bag baby" but,
you know; free country and all!?..." Anyway, the two FUBARians
were said to have "fist bumped" into explosions, with a firework
gala finale, threw out a "peace out" and blew each other a kiss
goodbye!?... We'll definitely keep you apprised of any changes
to this development!?
Capt. (technically F.O.)
Cave-Man and the Cyber Kid in uniform!
In 2001, Mark said "We
have each other..."
In 2006 - "You had me at
C - 2010;
"Mark and I are both Number
1! - That's TWO #1's B****!"
Rolling into 2013, the Cyber Kid continued his campaign stops
throughout Jan, Feb and Mar., hitting cities such as - Detroit, Ft.
Lauderdale, Miami, New York, Washington D.C. and for the first time
on his campaign - Portland, Maine! The 1st Quarter of 2013,
closed out with an impromptu visit to Central Fl where the Cyber Kid
brought Jessie and Alex (FUBAR Heir apparent.) to the new Armadillo
compound! Yes, you heard it here first folks, not only did the
FUBAR CEO up and move, so did Mark "Avocado!" Which now tends
to make one start to wonder; "What do these guys know, that we don't
know? "A Whole #ell of a lot!" the Cyber Kid was quoted as
shouting from a random, undisclosed location!?...
brings us up to the Mid-2nd Quarter 2013! And where are we
exactly! Well, the FUBARHQ is back up and running. The FUBAR
CEO has painstakingly recreated his "Man-Cave" and begun the next
phase of updates for the FUBARHq ans DARTM web updates! As
always, once we got moved to the new HQ, we've been plugging away.
Updates of over 1000+ new pictures in all the respective FUBARHQ photo albums (CAPTIONED!), INCLUDING
NEW Aviation Adventures and as Always - ALL-NEW travel adventures
from Cheeky Monkey at
www.SwingerMonkey.net including a complete 2012 album and a
Brand Spankin' New 2013 album online RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW!
you haven't seen any of that content yet, we suggest you grab a KBS
(Google it dorks!), a comfortable chair and enjoy the ride!?...
OH and don't forget to finish THIS page first!...
The Armadillo and Little Dude (FUBAR
Heir Apparent) in Central Florida!
With the continued success of the "Vote For Dave..."
Presidential campaign, FHQ
marketing have just released EIGHT (you read right, "EIGHT" - because we blew off the
last 10 months!) new posters using various
slogans including the newest ones; "VOTE FOR DAVE, BE A JEDI!" and
"VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE "E"!" (featuring the
FUBAR's very own Jeff "E" ngel!) to name a couple! So get out there and cast your vote!!!
In the meantime, here's your new dose of Campaign Posters featuring some
of our favorite supporters!...
ON a FUBARHQ YouTube
note, after much deliberation and frustration with the continued
syndication and distribution rules and regulations that YouTube
continues to implement, the FNC has decided to migrate all of the
FUBARHQ content over to
frankly, they're just a lot more laid back about crap like that!
So, any and all new FUBARHQ video content will find itself on VIMEO
servers. So update your links appropriately!
Of YOUR FUBAR VIDEO CONTENT AT -
YET ANOTHER VARIANTS REMINDER
The Cyber Kid was asked
to provide the D-Mobile III (aka "The Beast") again for another episode of
The Variants - Season 3. Always willing to lend a hand, the Cyber Kid
took the reigns as vehicle stunt coordinator for the driving scenes!
So, if you haven't seen it yet, be sure to watch Season's 1-3 on YouTube.com. Don't forget to check
Cyber Kid, along with the D-Mobile III (aka "The Beast")
featured extra "Officer Handlebar" in the Season 2, Episode 1
The Variants! (Links are
The Variants follows the zany adventures of comic shop proprietor,
Richard and his loyal band of store employees, Barry, Kelli, Joe and
the elusive Vlad as the (mostly) quartet find themselves in the most
precarious of situations.
For more information about the show or to watch the episode click
any of the respective links below -
(My Scene starts at
Season 3 Episode 7
(FUBAR CEO Dave's '77 Impala
("The BEAST") is featured prominently throughout the episode!)
Also, be sure to come
back next quarter when we explain this "Armadillo" Pic?!...
Armadillo running an
illegal "child/puppy mill?" (Watch this space!?...)
The Cyber Kid tries to eat
Yup!? This one
Well that's all for these past
don't forget you can download the COMPLETE FUBARchives 2011 edition!
Unlocking the FUBAR vaults,
every FUBAR document in HQ, the FUBAR Press Corp. has been painstakingly
recreated & scanned. Unlike the FUBARchives newsletter anthology sent to select FUBAR's back in 2000 this
collection contains ALL of those newsletters as well as NEVER BEFORE SEEN
stats, rosters, receipts and photos! Effectively - EVERY SINGLE PIECE
OF PAPER we have pertaining to the FUBAR's! DON'T FORGET - IT'S ENTIRELY
FREE!!! By clicking the link provided, you
may begin to download any section or the entire FUBARchive! So please
MINDFUL WEB CONTENT REMINDER
Be sure to visit the newest
in the FUBAR Publishing
News, the FUBAR Entertainment Group repertoire - CHEEKY MONKEY's photo
blog/online journal. UPDATED and sorted by year, the monkey has
and 1700+ captioned photos (Not to Mention the
UN-CUT album - if you can find it!? featuring OVER 700+ pics of the monkey
in the raw!?); The monkey is swingin'?...
"He Gets Around..."
And finally, here's yet another installment of WTF...
"High Five Bro! This is
the best party with Mom EVER!"
Well gang, until next time,
this has been your faithful reporter with the latest (literally) amount of
Enough FUBAR for ya?!...