ipsa scientia potestas est

(Note: The FNC is best viewed at a screen setting of 1024 X 768 or higher.)



N3.gif (3182 bytes)

H3.gif (3194 bytes)

F3.gif (3163 bytes)

Net.GIF (3191 bytes)

stuff.GIF (3176 bytes)





AtomicP2.GIF (3129 bytes)









beads.gif (7399 bytes)


beads.gif (7399 bytes)


The FUBAR News Corp. celebrates 23rd year by moving the FUBAR HQ!


Dept. of Defense satellite imagery of the alleged location of the NEW FUBARHQ compound!


Hello FUBARians,

       Hope all is well this 2nd quarter of 2013?! Forgive our absence for the past 10 months but the FUBARHQ has been undergoing a major "renovation."  Now, considering that the FNC reported back in July of 2012 that the FNC (in association with the FHQ) was really busy doing FNC stuff AND wasn't actually ignoring it's fans, one could see why people are skeptical after a 10 month hiatus?!  So, we're back and ready to answer any questions you might have BUT first, let US tell you what's been going on!...   

       Having had various "problems" with paparazzi and the like over the past several years, the FUBAR CEO Dave "Wild Man" Mater put a plan together to move the FUBARHQ to a new larger, more secure location!  This would of course entail finding a suitable venue to house the FUBAR Upper Management, FUBAR entourage and of course, the FUBARchives!  In addition to sourcing a new location, the old FHQ would have to be renovated, declassified AND subsequently liquidated.  All of this would of course have to happen with minimal staffing, military-esque precision, secrecy and of course NO Paparazzi!  So, between July 2012 and April 2013, the FHQ did just that!

       Over the course of the past 10 months, the FHQ sourced a new venue, purchased the property, packed up the decades worth of historical artifacts, documents and photos and moved!  An additional six months was then taken to unpack, re-evaluate, re-organize and set-up the brand new FHQ! - Complete with pool, hot-tub and yes... a sauna!  (Thank you dues-paying members!?)...  All of this was possible thru the master workings of our fearless leader CEO and FUBAR Founder Dave M. with the help of A.J. "I'm not eating flesh anymore" B!

A.J. Sighting near alleged new FHQ!


       Jeff "Missing an E" ngel was the first FUBAR member to spend anytime at the new FHQ.  Sworn to secrecy about it's new location, Jeff would only say this to reporters who caught up with him at the Denver Intl airport; "It's pretty sweet!  I had my own wing basically.  Treated like royalty, all the amenities of a five star hotel and BEvERageS!  Lots and Lots of BEvERageS!   Heff's got nothin' on Mater, let me tell you!?..." 

       Of course despite all that secret moving, no one was the wiser as FUBARHQ CEO Dave M. kept up his rigorous campaign and appearance schedule.  When the news of a possible FHQ move in the middle of the night had begun to surface, Dave M had this to say to paparazzi; "Ha Ha you suckers!  It's already done!  I'm happy to report that the FHQ has ALREADY moved!  We even did it in the middle of the freakin' day!  Now, you'll have to make some serious effort if you want to find out where the new HQ is!  Trust me, we spared no expense to keep it's location secret!"

       So, there it is folks - It's Official- FHQ has in fact moved.  Now while the FNC has received the above photo from Dept. of Defense satellite imagery, we have yet o confirm the building depicted within the Red circle is the new location fo the FUBARHQ compound!  We WILL of course continue to follow this developing story!  Now, as always onto other FHQ news from the past 10 months!  Now go grab a BEvERage kids and follow along!...


The Cyber Kid w/ FUBAR Hall of Famer Jeff "E" ngel!


       So nearly ten months ago, the FNC had just updated the FUBAR News Corp. website and, begun the process of secretly locating and procuring a new site for the FHQ!  After many years of dealing with paparazzi and countless fans, FUBAR CEO and Founder Dave M. had enough  of the prying eyes of society's mediocrity and feltt it was time for a change of venue!  Digging up all the chests of money buried in the yard of the former FHQ compound (aka "Dues Dollars!?") the Cyber Kid began the hunt!  It didn't take long as the FUBAR Patriarch, along with members of his senior staff had apparently located a suitable replacement by end of August 2012! 

       Rumored to be 40% larger then the former FUBAR HQ, the new compound boasts some nice amenities -

       Walk-In attic space

       3 Car garage

       Heated Pool w/ Waterfall and Hot Tub

       Sauna Room

       Gatling Gun Criminal "deterrent" system

       So while these new "upgraded" FHQ features cannot be confirmed as the new location still remains a well guarded secret, sources (aka Jeff "Big Mouth" E) at the FNC say that it's pretty much; "On the money!"

 Jeff "Tony Soprano" E and the Cyber Kid hanging in Dallas, 2013!

       Closing out 2012, the Cyber Kid made some stops in the Midwest and Central portions of the US.  Enroute on his campaign tour, the Cyber Kid ran into (not literally) Brian "I'm such a" Messer!  Brian was very excited to run into the FUBAR CEO, he had difficulty containing his excitement according to witnesses at the scene!  "Holy smokes!  It's Mater!  I love this guy!... I mean it would be great if he'd update the FUBAR website once in a while BUT man.. it sure is good to see him!"  Witnesses say after his comments to the press, the two FUBAR Hall of Famer's exchanged a few more words and then it looked as though Brian "may" have given the FUBAR CEO a "lean in?"  FNC assures you there was no actual contact BUT based on the now infamous paparazzi pics from the past decade (see exhibit's A-C below), one wouldn't "rule it out!?"

       "I definitely don't think it was a "lean-in" the Cyber Kid said at a later interview adding; "No, we went for a "Bro-Hug" and it just came across awkward so we waved off at the last second...  Not that anything is wrong with THAT sort of lifestyle.. you know, IF Brian's into that sort of thing.  "It's Not my bag baby" but, you know; free country and all!?..."  Anyway, the two FUBARians were said to have "fist bumped" into explosions, with a firework gala finale, threw out a "peace out" and blew each other a kiss goodbye!?...  We'll definitely keep you apprised of any changes to this development!?


Capt. (technically F.O.) Cave-Man and the Cyber Kid in uniform!


A - In 2001, Mark said "We have each other..."

B - In 2006 - "You had me at Hello!"

C - 2010; "Mark and I are both Number 1! -  That's TWO #1's B****!"

       Rolling into 2013, the Cyber Kid continued his campaign stops throughout Jan, Feb and Mar., hitting cities such as - Detroit, Ft. Lauderdale, Miami, New York, Washington D.C. and for the first time on his campaign - Portland, Maine!  The 1st Quarter of 2013, closed out with an impromptu visit to Central Fl where the Cyber Kid brought Jessie and Alex (FUBAR Heir apparent.) to the new Armadillo compound!  Yes, you heard it here first folks, not only did the FUBAR CEO up and move, so did Mark "Avocado!"  Which now tends to make one start to wonder; "What do these guys know, that we don't know?  "A Whole #ell of a lot!" the Cyber Kid was quoted as shouting from a random, undisclosed location!?...  

       So, that brings us up to the Mid-2nd Quarter 2013!  And where are we exactly!  Well, the FUBARHQ is back up and running. The FUBAR CEO has painstakingly recreated his "Man-Cave" and begun the next phase of updates for the FUBARHq ans DARTM web updates!  As always, once we got moved to the new HQ, we've been plugging away.  Updates of over 1000+ new pictures in all the respective FUBARHQ photo albums (CAPTIONED!), INCLUDING NEW Aviation Adventures and as Always - ALL-NEW travel adventures from Cheeky Monkey at www.SwingerMonkey.net including a complete 2012 album and a Brand Spankin' New 2013 album online RIGHT FREAKIN' NOW!

       So, if you haven't seen any of that content yet, we suggest you grab a KBS (Google it dorks!), a comfortable chair and enjoy the ride!?...  OH and don't forget to finish THIS page first!...


The Armadillo and Little Dude (FUBAR Heir Apparent) in Central Florida!

       With the continued success of the "Vote For Dave..." Presidential campaign, FHQ marketing have just released EIGHT (you read right, "EIGHT" - because we blew off the last 10 months!) new posters using various slogans including the newest ones; "VOTE FOR DAVE, BE A JEDI!" and "VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE "E"!" (featuring the FUBAR's very own Jeff "E" ngel!) to name a couple!  So get out there and cast your vote!!!   In the meantime, here's your new dose of Campaign Posters featuring some of our favorite supporters!...

POSTER #1 - w/ Melissa & Alexis POSTER #2 - w/ Leia & Cheeky POSTER #3 - w/ Supporter Adrienne POSTER #4 - w/ Supporter Alyssa
POSTER #5 - w/ Supporter Adrienne POSTER #6 - w/ Supporter Adrienne POSTER #7 - w/ Tony Soprano & Adrienne POSTER #8 - w/ Rachel & Tony Soprano


       ON a FUBARHQ YouTube note, after much deliberation and frustration with the continued syndication and distribution rules and regulations that YouTube continues to implement, the FNC has decided to migrate all of the FUBARHQ content over to www.VIMEO.Com/FUBARHQ where frankly, they're just a lot more laid back about crap like that!  So, any and all new FUBARHQ video content will find itself on VIMEO servers.  So update your links appropriately!





       The Cyber Kid was asked to provide the D-Mobile III (aka "The Beast") again for another episode of The Variants - Season 3.  Always willing to lend a hand, the Cyber Kid took the reigns as vehicle stunt coordinator for the driving scenes!  So, if you haven't seen it yet, be sure to watch Season's 1-3 on YouTube.com.  Don't forget to check out the Cyber Kid, along with the D-Mobile III (aka "The Beast") also a featured extra "Officer Handlebar" in the Season 2, Episode 1 premiere of The Variants! (Links are below) 

       The Variants follows the zany adventures of comic shop proprietor, Richard and his loyal band of store employees, Barry, Kelli, Joe and the elusive Vlad as the (mostly) quartet find themselves in the most precarious of situations.  For more information about the show or to watch the episode click any of the respective links below -


Season 2 Episode 1

(My Scene starts at 6:40)

Season 3 Episode 7

(FUBAR CEO Dave's '77 Impala ("The BEAST") is featured prominently throughout the episode!)


Also, be sure to come back next quarter when we explain this "Armadillo" Pic?!...


Armadillo running an illegal "child/puppy mill?" (Watch this space!?...)


and this picture!?...


The Cyber Kid tries to eat human?!...


Yup!?  This one too!?...


Well that's all for these past three quarters;

       As always, don't forget you can download the COMPLETE FUBARchives 2011 edition!  Unlocking the FUBAR vaults, every FUBAR document in HQ, the FUBAR Press Corp. has been painstakingly recreated & scanned.  Unlike the FUBARchives newsletter anthology sent to select FUBAR's back in 2000 this collection contains ALL of those newsletters as well as NEVER BEFORE SEEN stats, rosters, receipts and photos!  Effectively - EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF PAPER we have pertaining to the FUBAR's!  DON'T FORGET - IT'S ENTIRELY FREE!!!  By clicking the link provided, you may begin to download any section or the entire FUBARchive!  So please - Enjoy!"




Be sure to visit the newest in the FUBAR Publishing News, the FUBAR Entertainment Group repertoire - CHEEKY MONKEY's photo blog/online journal.  UPDATED and sorted by year, the monkey has 8 albums and 1700+ captioned photos (Not to Mention the UN-CUT album - if you can find it!?  featuring OVER 700+ pics of the monkey in the raw!?); The monkey is swingin'?...


"He Gets Around..."

And finally, here's yet another installment of WTF...


"High Five Bro!  This is the best party with Mom EVER!"

Well gang, until next time, this has been your faithful reporter with the latest (literally) amount of drivel!  Enough FUBAR for ya?!...


Dave "Cyber Kid" - CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989


News FUBARchives

FNC ANNEX 7-2012
FNC ANNEX 1-2012
FNC ANNEX 8-2011
FNC ANNEX 4-2011
FNC ANNEX 9-2010
FNC ANNEX 6-2010
FNC ANNEX 1-2010
FNC ANNEX 11-2009
FNC ANNEX 8-2009
FNC ANNEX 5-2009
FNC ANNEX 1-2009
FNC ANNEX 9-2008
FNC ANNEX 5-2008
FNC ANNEX 1-2008
FNC ANNEX 9-2007
FNC ANNEX 7-2007
FNC ANNEX 3-2007
FNC ANNEX 1-2007
FNC ANNEX 10-2006
FNC ANNEX 7-2006
FNC ANNEX 3-2006
FNC ANNEX 1-2006
FNC ANNEX 11-2005
FNC ANNEX 10-2005
FNC ANNEX 7-2005
FNC ANNEX 5-2005
FNC ANNEX 3-2005
FNC ANNEX 1-2005
FNC ANNEX 11-2004
FNC ANNEX 7-2004
FNC ANNEX 5-2004
FNC ANNEX 1-2004
FNC ANNEX 3-2003
FNC ANNEX 11-2002
FNC ANNEX 9-2002
FNC ANNEX 6-2002
FNC ANNEX 3-2002
FNC ANNEX 11-2001
FNC ANNEX 8-2001
FNC ANNEX 7-2001
FNC ANNEX 3-2001
FNC ANNEX 10-2000
FNC ANNEX 7-2000
FNC ANNEX 3-2000
FNC ANNEX 11-1999C
FNC ANNEX 11-1999B
FNC ANNEX 11-1999A