CHEEKY |
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NEWS |
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01/18/2017
FUBARHQ BACK UP AND RUNNING! |
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The Cyber Kid #23 shakes the
dust off the glove and shows 'em what a 44yr old (former FUBAR Champion)
can really do! |
Super Secret World Domination Plan
Map... |
Hello FUBARians!,
Holy Cow – It's been over one year since we last updated you with
all the FUBAR news that's fit to print. Now, this not to say the
FUBARHQ has been idle – Kids photos, Aviation Photos
and those pesky Cheeky Monkey Pages have been
updated consistently not to mention, planning TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION is
a labor-intensive endeavor, so we only have time for the important
stuff!
So, while we continued to plan to
take over the World and run amuck last year
with 26th Year Anniversary FUBAR shenanigans, the News just
had to wait. Wish we had a better reason for
our (unorthodox) delay but it wasn't like we
EVER received ONE single email in the past 15 months asking us
when we were going to update the News! No -“Are you guys OK?”; “IS this
site still up and running?”; “Where's Dave?”; “What the heck are you
doing with our FUBAR dues money?” - None of that
EVER came to our Inbox!?... Just
sayin'!?... So, like our mission statement – remember what
you paid for this?) |
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So, just what have the FUBARs been doing? Well, as
we always say, go grab a tasty BevERage (we prefer Founders
Breakfast Stout this time of year), grab a seat and get into it!
This one's gonna take some time. If you ever saw the movie
Interstellar, this edition will be just like that! You'll spend
about an hour on here but when you finally log-off, you'll realize
your kids have grown and everyone is old!
When we left you last October (2015 that is!) our main story
concerned the FUBAR CEO and Founder Dave “The Cyber Kid” and their
mysterious 3 members of the “secret” meeting that took place in a
cabin in the woods! The term TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION came up during
our investigation numerous times and we even started to “tail” the
five members to see if they would meet again. We're confident to
report that while the “FUBAR Five” as they are being dubbed did not
meet again in the year of 2016, FUBAR COO Mark “The Armor-Dildo” and
Dave “Cyber Punk” did meet several times!
There first meeting was at a local eatery in Orlando (Yes.
Hooters!) where the two were observed with “Certified Trainer”
Nicole and a Stuffed Monkey! - Which
turned out to be none other than “Doctor” - a certified stunt double
of the infamous SwingerMonkey.com star Cheeky Monkey! Flung Poo and
Hot Wings aside, our reporter could not get a good sense as
to what the nefarious duo were up to other than playing with their
monkey!?...
...BUT
THEN - Just a mere week later however, the two were again at
the exact same Hooters w/ the same waitress!?...
This time, they enjoyed some food and then moved to an
establishment called – The Cloak & Blaster. |
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Cyber
Kid, Nicole & Avo |
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Dubbed a “Gamer Pub” (but has often been referred to as -
"The place that brings out
your Inner Megalomaniac”!?) the duo were
spotted engaging in some sort of home-made strategy game. (After a
$20 tip, the bartender was willing to divulge that he thought he
heard The Cyber Kid call it – The Sun Never Sets!?
(More on this "game" and developing segment
later!) - Interesting name with all the talk about TOTAL
WORLD DOMINATION don't ya think?!) Anyway, the two shared a lovely
tower of onion rings (named “Sauron's Tower”) and some other
cleverly named but otherwise pedestrian tasting cuisine – the game
was apparently considered a draw and then the two left! |
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Avo,
Nicole & CK - Hoots Again? |
Avo makes a move?! |
"Just
a game, nothing more" is their story? |
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The two were then spotted together, yet
again, when they met up just a week before the Circus came to
town in Cleveland, OH for the Republican National Convention.
As well as meeting downtown Cleveland a week
prior to the convention, the nefarious
pair also met the night of the convention downtown Cleveland.
Once again, the FUBAR News wire was all abuzz with renewed talks of
TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION as the two most powerful men in the FUBAR
Organization were in the same city as some of (and unknown but
suspected at the time) the most powerful
people in the world – the least of which is now the President of the
United States!
FUBAR Press Reporters cannot
confirm whether or not the two from FUBAR Upper Echelon actually had
council with The Trumpster, but based on the election results...
well, suffice to say – that “Russian
hacking story” you keep hearing about – you can call that herring
red if you ask us? We think the Cyber Kid and Avocado might have a
lot more juicy intel on hwat went down this past
November?! - The day after the RNC, the two FUBAR Officials
(yes, Avo and Cyber Kid), using FUBAR dues
money we presume, went about there "originally
scheduled activities" with a fun-filled day riding extreme
roller-coasters at Cedar Point in Sandusky, OH! |
We're here for the rollercoasters! |
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That finally brings us to October, when
Mark Avocado, took an unconventional second trip away from
his HQ "Numenor Kennels" in central FL to
visit the FUBARHQ in central TX! Press
were not invited to the exclusive event and despite best efforts,
including the use of drones - paparazzi were snubbed! One party
attendee, was bribed for a $5 Starbucks card and whatever change we
had in our pocket for the following pictures!
One in which it seems as though Mark "Avo" may in fact be turning
into a zombie!?...
Again, we have no confirmation of what
the two discussed during the 48 hour stay (except perhaps TOTAL
WORLD DOMINATION – "TWD"
from now on!? - Frankly it's getting too tedious to type!) but we
can confirm that Mark arrived with two canines and left w/ one!?
More on this developing story later
as well... |
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AVO sends
one back across the table! |
Uncle
Mark and some random small humans |
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So, November 2016 brought us another sighting of the FUBAR
duo when the Cyber Kid and entourage enroute to a planned campaign
stop at Hogwarts School of Wizardry, spent a day at Mark's
AvocadoHQ!?
Despite being the
Thanksgiving holiday AND having
the family in tow, we believe here at the
FUBAR News that this was all just an
elaborate ruse to look like a "holiday
get-together" when in fact it was yet
another meeting to discuss TWD!? All of
this is of course speculative (But you can put money on it!?) but
considering there were dead birds being dressed
and cooked in what can only be described as some sort of ritualistic
ceremony we doubt that the two were just "socializing?!"
We
will of course continue to bring you the developments on this story
as they hit our desk! (Or in another 15 months? Whichever comes
first!?) |
Cyber Kid and Avo in Numenor! |
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Now, earlier in our report, we broke the news about Mark Avocado and
Dave "The Cyber Kid" meeting in secret (OK!? - Somewhat in
secret... OK, OK!? - Not really in secret at all) to "play" a game
that was titled "The Sun Never Sets!" The game that has been
officially called "Just a Game!" by the Cyber Kid and the FUBAR
Press Secretary however seems to keep cropping up?
So, while the FUBAR COO Mark and FUBAR Founder/CEO The Cyber Kid
were playing the "game" back in March 2016, the "game" was again
spotted in Atlanta, GA being played by a yet as identified
individual in August of 2016!? When asked about it, the
unidentified (and unwilling to divulge his personal information)
person said that they had "found it" and were just "messing around
with it?!" The plot however, thickens when we discovered that
FUBAR Founder/ CEO Dave was not only traveling BUT was, in fact,
ALSO in Atlanta during the same timeframe! While almost
identical, the games did have very "slight" differences, we will of
course let you decide (via photographic evidence below) for yourself
whether or not A: It's the same game? and B: Whether or not the
Cyber Kid and his "unidentified" minions are planning TOTAL WORLD
DOMINATION!? While you try not to overload your inferior
little minds - just be assured that we here at the FNC are very much
on top of this developing story!?... |
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In
other news, the Cyber Kid has been busy with his Campaign Stops and
was able to make appearances in the
following cities throughout 2016 -
New York,
NY – Hooters #200 (Madison Square
Garden); Orlando, FL
w/ Mark - The Cloak & Blaster; Ft.
Lauderdale, FL; Albany,
NY; Washington, DC;
; St. Louis, MO;
Boise, IO; Miami, FL
- Carly Jo Jackson & David Blaine;
Detroit, MI – Tigers Game;
Cleveland, OH – RNC;
Sandusky, OH - Cedar Point – Rollercoasters;
Atlanta, GA – TSNS w/ Geoff;
Orlando, FL – Hogswarts
School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Hogsmeade Village & Diagon
Alley, visits w/ Thomas B & Andrea C;
Oklahoma City, OK - Engine Failure;
and finally Tampa, FL.
Enjoy the following pictures of some of the Cyber Kid's adventures -
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Hooters
#200 |
Cloak &
Blaster |
Times
Square |
Cleveland, OH - RNC Protests |
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Carly Jo
Jackson |
Hogwarts
School |
David
Blaine |
RIP - Right JT8D (aka "Whitney") |
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So, now that’s done, enjoy these brand spanking new “VOTE FOR DAVE, GET
FREE WINGS!” and “VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE COMICS!”
and the newest campaign poster
- "VOTE FOR DAVE, GET FREE LUNCH!"… |
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Cyber
Kid & Joanie |
Cyber
Kid & Nicole |
Cyber
Kid & Ireland |
Cyber
Kid & Bennet |
Cyber
Kid & Ashley |
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Well, that's it! DON'T FORGET - The COMPLETE FUBARchives 2011 edition is still FREE! -
Unlocking the FUBAR vaults,
every FUBAR document in FUBARHQ and the FUBAR Press Corp. has been painstakingly
recreated & scanned. Unlike the FUBARchives newsletter anthology sent to select FUBAR's back in 2000 this
collection contains ALL of those newsletters as well as NEVER BEFORE SEEN
stats, rosters, receipts and photos! Effectively - EVERY SINGLE PIECE
OF PAPER we have pertaining to the FUBAR's! DON'T FORGET - IT'S ENTIRELY
FREE!!! By clicking the link provided, you
may begin to download any section or the entire FUBARchive! So please
- Enjoy!"
FUBARchives
Also be sure to check out all the FUBAR Shenanigans
on FUBARHQ Vimeo!
FUBARHQ ON VIMEO!
FIND ALL
Of YOUR FUBAR VIDEO CONTENT AT -
www.VIMEO.com/FUBARHQ
Also, be sure to
come back next quarter when we explain this... |
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Zombie Mark & Jess |
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and this?!... |
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Ever
"Furtle"? |
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And
finally this... |
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Explore strange new worlds... |
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MINDFUL WEB CONTENT REMINDER
Be sure to visit the newest
in the FUBAR Publishing
News, the FUBAR Entertainment Group repertoire - CHEEKY MONKEY's photo
blog/online journal. UPDATED and sorted by year, the monkey has
10 albums
and 2000+ captioned photos (Not to Mention the
UN-CUT album - if you can find it!? featuring OVER 1100+ pics of the monkey
in the raw!?); The monkey is swingin'?...
www.SWINGERMONKEY.com
"He Gets Around..."
And finally, here's yet another installment of WTF
featuring...
ONE MORE VARIANTS REMINDER
The Cyber Kid was asked
to provide the D-Mobile III (aka "The Beast") for a couple
episodes of the
The Variants. Always willing to lend a hand, the Cyber Kid
took the reigns as vehicle stunt coordinator for the driving scenes as well
as featured extra "Officer Handlebar" in the Season 2, Episode 1 premiere of
The Variants! (Links are
below)!
So, if you haven't seen it yet, be sure to watch Season's 1-3 on YouTube.com.
The Variants follows the zany adventures of comic shop proprietor,
Richard and his loyal band of store employees, Barry, Kelli, Joe and
the elusive Vlad as the quartet (most of the time) find themselves in the most
precarious of situations.
For more information about the show or to watch the episode click
any of the respective links below -
www.TheVariants.com
Season 2
Episode 1
(My Scene starts at
6:40)
Season 3 Episode 7
(FUBAR CEO Dave's '77 Impala
("The BEAST") is featured prominently throughout the episode!)
Well gang, until next time,
this has been your always loyal reporter - Now go grab another BEvERage
and remember you cannot un-see what you just saw?! -
Enough FUBAR for ya?!...
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Dave
"Cyber Kid" - CEO/Founder FUBAR's est.1989 |
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